Can't Let Go
by bellezza danneggiata
Summary: ALL HUMAN... EPOV of 'Never Let Go'. Edward comes home after a year being away at college. What happens when his angel moves in with the family? Can he help her move forward from her dark past? E/B, LEMONS, dark themes,
1. My angel

**Ok this is 'Never Let Go' in Edwards POV.**

'**Never Let Go' is currently up to chap 25 n is not going to be updated for 1 WEEK. 1) Stress fractured my wrist n I can't really type much, **

**2) I'm doing 'Can't Let Go' mainly now so it can catch up to 'Never Let Go'.**

**Just letting you all know n so you don't think that's where it ends.**

**Ok so I'm going to shut up now n let you read.**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

_Can't Let Go_

_~ I ~_

_EPOV_

It was after dark when I finally passed into the boundaries of Forks, Washington. I was going home after being away at college for a year. I was remembering the last time I came home; it was Christmas and I met the most beautiful angel I had ever seen. She really was like an angel. Bella was beautiful, smart, funny and incredibly clumsy. I spent most of the time over those days with her; I even perked up the courage to kiss her on my last night there. Just like when we kissed; I heard a phone ring near me. It wasn't Bella's this time, my phone kept ringing; snapping me out of my thoughts of the sweet angel I longed to see again.

I checked the caller ID. "Hey Emmett, what's up? I'm about five minutes away, just passed into Forks."

"_Dude, hey. Look you need to hang back a bit. We have sort of a situation. Something's happened. Bella is moving in with us and we have to protect her. She just got here so give it an hour before you come home so she isn't freaked out more than she already is ok." _Emmett rushed into the phone I only caught half of what he said. Something about Bella moving in? Could my luck really be that good? Wait why would she be moving in with us? Didn't she have a boyfriend?

"Um. Sure Emmett. Is she ok? Wait, why is she moving in with us? What happened?" I asked confused and slightly worried.

"_Dude, no time to explain. I got to go, but just hang back for a while ok." _Emmett ordered. _"We'll explain when you get here later." _He said, hanging up before I could respond.

"Well that was weird." I muttered to myself. What the hell am I going to do for an hour? I knew the answer as soon as I though of it. I sped off towards the path that led to the secluded meadow I had found so many years ago.

It didn't take me long to find the hidden place. I remember when I first found the meadow before me. I was so angry at Emmett over something and had stormed off trying to calm down before I broke some of my mothers furniture. I didn't know exactly where I was going, I had been walking around in the forest for hours when I came across the beautiful meadow. Ever since that day, I would always come here if I needed to get away and be alone with my thoughts for a while.

I thought the meadow was beautiful during the day; it was even more breathtaking at night. I stayed in my own little place away from the world for well over an hour, just thinking about what Emmett had said about how we have to _protect_ Bella. What did she need to be protected from? What was going on? What had happened to her that led to her moving in with us? Was she ok? I hated not knowing.

After I first met Bella, I couldn't get her out of my head. I don't know how to explain it; I just felt a connection, a sort of pull towards her. I even tried to get her out my head by getting with the campus slut Tanya. That was a huge failure. She was so clingy I didn't even like her like that, and she couldn't even get me up. I only had one girl in mind that I wanted and I couldn't wait 'til I would hopefully see her again.

I couldn't take it anymore; I had to know what was going on. I jumped up from where I was lying down and rand through the forest back to my car. As soon as I was in, I sped away towards home. I stopped just in front of the steps and bolted into the manor, leaving my bags.

"Edward." Esme; my mother, sighed.

"Mum. What. What happened? What's wrong with Bella? Why is she moving in with us?" I stammered out.

"It's more her place to say." Carlisle; my father, said. "But she's moving in with us because she left her boyfriend James and needs a place to live. Edward, James was abusive with Bella." He told me.

I was too shocked at first to respond. How could anyone hurt this angel? How dare he!

"She's very fragile and vulnerable right now. I know you have feelings for her Edward, but just be careful with her. She's just come out of an abusive relationship. Be there for her, support her and give her time." Carlisle told me seriously. It's good to have you home son."

"Yeah, I'm not leaving for that long again any time soon." I laughed slightly.

"Good. That means you get to help with the wedding and everything." I heard Rosalie; my brothers fiancée, say coming down the stairs. "Welcome home by the way. We were planning a dinner for you but we had a situation so yeah. Everyone is in bed now but we'll go out tomorrow for lunch while Bella's at the hospital with Carlisle yeah." She said giving me a quick hug before heading off towards the kitchen.

"I'm just going to go grab my bags and head up to bed. It was a long trip." I said.

"Ok Edward. Check on Bella when you get up there." Esme said.

"Sure thing mum. Night." I told her heading back out to the car.

"Be careful with her Edward." Carlisle said when I walked back in with my bags. He walked off as I continued up the stairs.

My room was on the third floor and had a conjoining bathroom with the spare; well now Bella's room. I dumped my bags in my room and chucked on just a pair of trackies. Just as I went to get into bed, I heard someone scream out.

_Bella._

"Shit!" I swore. I forgot to check on her when I came up.

I ran into her room and there she was; still beautiful like I remember but her face was full of pain and she screamed out again.

I didn't think as she kept screaming, I just got in the bed and held her close to me. She woke up and screamed even louder.

"Shh. Bell, shh. It's ok. You're safe. I'm here." I told her, rubbing her back a she sobbed clinging onto my chest.

"Edward." Bella sighed.

She remembered me. "Shh. I'm here." I told her.

Sta.. Stay." She sobbed.

"I'm not going anywhere." I told her as she started to calm down. I kissed her hair and forehead softly as she drifted off back to sleep.

"Edward." Bella breathed in her sleep. She curled in closer to me. I kissed her forehead again and held her close as I fell asleep with my Bella safely in my arms.

…

**Ok let us know…**

**Like it, hate it?**

**Remember chap 2 in 'Never Let Go'…**

"**Crash Landings" well wait til you see what Edward was thinking :P**

**xx**


	2. start of many lonely cold showers

~ II ~

I woke up someone sneezing near me. It was then that I realised I wasn't alone; I could feel someone small and delicate in my arms.

"What? Oh crap. Bella are you ok?" I rambled looking into my angels eyes.

I couldn't help but smile when she did. "Yeah I'm fine. Just don't want to move from this position." Did she realise how sexy she just made that sound?

I decided to play along and see what her reaction was. "Who said we had to get up yet. I'm quite comfortable and don't want to move either." I told her grinning like the fool I am. I smiled even more when she blushed at my response.

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm starving and I have to go to the hospital for some tests with Carlisle today so I should get up." Bella said as she tried to get up. She lost her balance though and ended up falling back down, her hand gripping onto my rather obvious erection. God Bella was holding my dick. Shit. No, Edward. She's been through hell. Have to take it slow. Let her decide.

I knew all of this but I couldn't help but tease her slightly. "Nice crash landing there Bella?" I smirked and looked down to where her hand was still holding onto.

I laughed when I saw Bella's beautiful blush creep up onto her cheeks. I helped her stand up this time and made sure she could walk properly before letting go of her. I offered to help her down the stairs but she wasn't having that. "I'll be fine. I think I can handle walking." She said pushing my hand away.

"Ok, ok. Just trying to help out." I said smiling when I noticed Bella's eyes narrow in on my problem.

I wasn't expecting what she said next. "Looks like you're the one that needs help big boy." She snickered at me. "I think you may need a cold shower. You're at full attention." She said before she turned away and walked downstairs laughing. She was right about one thing though; I was in need of a cold shower, and it was all because of Bella.

I walked into our conjoining bathroom and had my 'cold shower'. All I could think about was I wished Bella was in here too. I didn't last long in there; I wanted to see Bella's face again.

I got changed quickly and ran downstairs towards the kitchen. I could hear Bella talking to my mum and when I walked in I saw Bella with two plates, setting them down opposite each other.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" I teased as I looked over Bella from my position against the doorframe.

"French toast and juice." She told me as she sat down and bit a piece of hers. Yep, problem's back again. "Unless you don't want any. I'll have yours." She said with her mouth half full.

"Nup. No way am I passing up mums French toast." I said taking my seat. "Especially, when I have a beautiful woman sitting across the table from me." I said smiling at her.

I heard mum laughing somewhere over in the corner but I was paying attention to Bella. Bella seemed surprised to find Esme still in the kitchen with us.

"Come on Bella eat up. Carlisle will be taking you in about an hour and then when you get back we're going shopping remember?" Mum told Bella. Wait that meant I wouldn't get to spend the day with her now. Damn.

Bella didn't look all too excited about the shopping trip mum had planned. I noticed that her face suddenly turned to one of horror and fear. She looked so scared about something. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her it would be ok; but I didn't think that would be appropriate, besides I didn't even know what she was scared of. Carlisle would look after her today.

Bella headed upstairs to get ready and mum had gone out to work in her garden. My phone started ringing again; it was Alice.

"My favourite little pixie; what's up?" I answered.

"_Oh ha ha Edward, we're all going out for lunch and you're coming seeing as we couldn't do dinner last night. You can help Jasper plan this party he's having in a few weeks. Em and Rosalie are coming too so we can all catch up with you."_ Alice said all in one breath.

"I don't have a choice do I?" It was a rhetorical question; I knew I had no chance when it came to Alice.

"_Of course not; so we'll meet you at the mall strip in Port Angeles in say… about two hours. Ok good."_ Alice said and hanged up before I could even respond.

Lunch will be fun… NOT. Oh well. I might be able to get information about Bella.

Bella.

I'll see her tonight; that's one thing I have to look forward to.

…

**Naww. Poor Edward needing a cold shower. He'll be needing a lot of them :P**

**I love writing this in Edwards POV. Its funny as when I think about it.**

**So…**

**Like it hate it?**

**Let me know.**

**xx**


	3. dont screw it up!

_~ III ~_

I arrived in Port Angeles early and decided to have a look around. I had only gone into two of the shops however when I heard a familiar high pitched squeal.

I attempted to run back into the closest store and hide; which was stupid; there was no way I could hide from Alice in a mall strip.

"Silly Edward." Alice laughed as she literally pounced and jumped on my back. "You know better than to try and hide from me." She said as she jumped back down.

"Yeah man. Geez knowing her for 22 years would make you think you might know her better." Jasper laughed as he walked forward carrying at least nine different bags which probably all were Alice's.

"Like you can talk. You've been going out with my sister for how long now, and you're still the bag man." I smirked back at him.

"Ok, ok. Enough, I'm hungry so now that we've found Eddie boy here let's go eat." Emmett said.

Rosalie hit him over the head. "Emmett is food the only thing you think about?" She sneered.

"Of course not babe. I think about you all the time. I love to think about that little thing you do with your…" Emmett started but was silenced by Rosalie kissing him to stop him from saying the next part.

"You will not finish that sentence." She told him.

"Ok, well we're all here, we're attracting attention. Let's go eat." Jasper said and led us down the strip to _Lawrella Café_ at the end.

I have to admit; it was good catching up with all of my family, I hadn't seen them since Christmas. Emmett and Rosalie filled me in on their plans for the wedding which was just over a month away while I told them about college. Jasper told us all about a party he was planning for next week as well as another in a few weeks time.

"So…" I started off when the waitress cleared our table. "What's the whole thing with Bella? Dad told me some of it last night but yeah." I said looking down.

"Edward." Jasper started only to be cut off by Rosalie.

"It's not our story to tell. All you need to know is that she left James after he hurt her and now she's with us. You will be living with her until she's better and that may be a long time. So when me and Emmett move out into our new place after the wedding I don't want to hear of any funny business Edward." Rosalie snapped at me. Whoa where did that come from? Hold on. Why would Rosalie be so protective of Bella like that?

"Edward. We all know you have feelings for Bella. It was pretty obvious when you two met last Christmas." Alice told me carefully. Seriously, what had happened to Bella to cause everyone to be so on edge and protective on the whole subject of her? "But she's just got out of a bad relationship finally. James hurt Bella, Edward. And I mean really hurt her badly. I know there is something she's hiding but I've seen the bruises so I already knew he had been abusing her." She told me.

I noticed Emmett clench his hand into a fist and Rosalie looking very pissed off. "Where are you going with this Alice? Carlisle told me this last night sort of. What are you implying?" I questioned careful not to set Rosalie off; she looked really pissed and I didn't want to get her even angrier.

"Just be careful with her Edward. We all know you two like each other and will probably end up together sooner or later." Jasper answered.

"What the hell? I've just gotten home and found out Bella has moved in with us. I wanted to know if she was ok. Why are you all acting as if we're together?" I seethed.

"Edward we know you and we know Bella. You couldn't stop asking about her after you met her and she was pretty much the same." Alice told me.

Wait. Bella had asked about me?

"But if you hurt her Edward, I don't care if you're my brother by blood; she's like a little sis to me and I will hurt you if you do anything to harm her in any way." Emmett promised, his voice a mixture of pissed off and protectiveness towards Bella.

This was getting weird. I hate not knowing, but it seems I'm not getting anything out of these guys; I would have to try Carlisle later.

"Ok guys. I was only worried about her after last night."

"What happened last night?" They all asked at once.

"Bella was screaming out, she was having a nightmare about something and I just went in and calmed her down. I stayed with her and just held her all night. She asked me to stay so I did. She talked in her sleep a bit though so I was curious." I told them honestly.

They all relaxed and smiled at me. What the hell was with them looking at me like that?

"That was good of you Edward." Rosalie said.

"Yeah really good man." Jasper added.

"If she asks again then stay with her like you did. Help her and she'll open up to you." Emmett said approvingly.

"Just don't screw it up." Alice told me.

We laughed and I smiled to myself knowing that they were ok with how I felt towards Bella. The fact that it was so obvious concerned me a bit but soon my thoughts were overcome by Bella again.

…

**Had no idea what to write for this chap then had the idea where they all gang up on Edward n go all protective of Bella so yeah that's how that went.**

**Review :D**

**Next chap up tomorrow**

**xx**


	4. pay back fun

**Ok ppl seem confused bout ages. No they are not 16 or 17 that would be weird.**

**Carlisle - **43

**Esme - **44

**Emmett -** 25

**Rosalie - **25

**Jasper - **24

**Alice **- 23

**Edward **- 22

**Bella **- 22

**James – **26

**So yeah. **

**Enjoy **

**Xx**

****************************************************************************

_~ IV ~_

After lunch I told the guys I still had some unpacking to do and they wanted to shop so I decided to head home.

No one was home; not even Esme. I found a note on the kitchen bench from mum saying she had taken Bella shopping and out to dinner; they'll be back later.

I decided seeing as I had already finished unpacking that I would go visit my piano. I hadn't played it in so long and yet it was still in the same condition I had left it in. I also noticed empty script pages waiting for me to write on, on my seat; mum knew me too well.

I just randomly started playing a tune I had never played before just to see if the piano was still in good condition. The tune however soon turned into a whole melody it was so beautiful and just kept going. I didn't want to forget it anytime soon so I grabbed the blank script pages and started writing the notes and melody down.

I had got up to five pages where it suddenly stopped; it wasn't the end of the tune but I just didn't know what would come next. I tried to play it again and just like when I was writing, it just stopped abruptly and I couldn't continue.

"Nice song Edward, I haven't heard you play that one before. What's it called?" Alice said sitting on the chair next to me.

"I don't know yet, it just sort of came into my head." I told her, slightly confused by the new song I had created. "It's a lullaby I think."

"Well it's beautiful. However I don't think it's complete yet." She chirped. "Here I'll sing while you play and we'll see where it leads." She said looking at the notes on the first page.

I smiled while Alice sang and I played. I knew where I had got the inspiration now; it was Bella.

"I don't know where you're heading with the song. That's a hard one but it's still beautiful. But I think we need to eat now." Alice said after we tried four times to get it right.

I hadn't even realised it was dark now. We had dinner and I headed upstairs to my room to have a shower.

When I got out of the shower I headed into my room to get changed. I had dropped my trackies and leaned over to get them when I heard someone run into something behind me.

I turned around just in time to see Bella fall down to the ground. I looked at her shocked at first to find her in my room then I couldn't help but tease her a bit with the situation and I played with the towel that was wrapped firmly around my hips.

"See something you like Bella?" I teased. "You seem to be blinded by the light or something." I chuckled as I helped her up off the ground.

"Well. I. I'm kind of out of it and I guessed I walked into the wrong room." Bella stuttered out blushing.

I couldn't help but laugh and she turned away from me to walk back out. I wasn't having her leave just yet though. I wanted to get back at her for this morning. I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her back up against me.

"I was only messing with you Bella. I don't mind if you look. I see something I like." I whispered softly in her ear pulling her closer up against me so she could feel exactly what I meant. My problem from this morning was back and even more obvious with me in nothing but a towel. I smiled when she leaned back into me.

I kissed her hair then very softly kissed the side of her neck. "Bella?" I whispered nibbling on her earlobe, teasing her and causing her to moan.

"Hmmm?" Bella mumbled as she pressed up against me.

"Though I don't want to move from this position right now, I kind of need to get changed." I whispered kissing the side of her neck again, running my hands gently up and down her sides.

Bella snapped her head up as she realised I was paying her back. I stepped back from her unwillingly and she walked through our conjoining bathroom through to her room. I couldn't help but laugh as I got changed into my trackies and ran my hand through my already messy hair.

I couldn't help myself; I had to see her reaction. I walked through to her room and leaned up against her doorframe just as she crashed down on the bed,

"Ahhh." I heard her groan. Whoa wait, I made Bella groan? "Stupid sexy, gorgeous man." She sighed frustrated. Yep paybacks a bitch baby.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" I couldn't help but smirk.

She jerked up when she heard my voice. "I. I.." she tried to say. God she was beautiful when she blushed. She seemed to be having difficulty speaking so I just laughed and walked back out. I heard her groan again as she fell back down on her bed.

I was still laughing as I tried to figure out the rest of the tune I was working on before. It couldn't have been more than half an hour when I heard Bella shout out. I ran into her room.

"James. Stop. No, James please." She shouted out as she kicked out in her sleep.

"Bella. Bella." I whispered careful not to scare her. She wasn't waking up and she started screaming. "Bella WAKE UP!" I shouted and she jolted awake and gasping for air.

"Wha.. What? Edward? What are you doing in here" She croaked; she had like no voice left.

"You were shouting out again. When I tried to wake you up you screamed." I told her, worried about how she was screaming out. What had this jerk done to her?

Bella started crying and hyperventilating then. I took her straight into my arms and lied down on the bed with her cradled to my chest.

"Bella. Bella you're ok. You're safe, I'm here. Shh Bella. Breathe" I whispered trying to soothe her as she sobbed into my chest.

"I.." Bella sobbed. "I cant be alone right now. The nightmares.." she cried out clutching to me tighter.

"Bella don't worry. It's fine. I told you I'm not going anywhere. You're not alone. I'm right here." I whispered stroking her hair and kissing her forehead.

"Thankyou, Edward. I.." She said calming down as she snuggled in closer to me.

"It's ok Bella. Just sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up." I promised her; there was no way I was leaving her now. I kissed the top of her hair then her forehead again, tucking us under the blankets together. She fell asleep in my arms after a while like last night.

I hated this James guy for what he did to her. James.. James.. Oh my god. That jerk that went nuts at me last year about being near Bella; he said something about being James' cousin? That she was his property; I remember I got pissed off that anyone would even call her such a demeaning term. God why couldn't I remember his name? I knew exactly who James was. I just couldn't think of why Bella would ever be with a guy like that; he was bad news. I swore to myself that I would never let him near Bella again. He would never touch her; I wouldn't let her be in that kind of pain ever again.

Bella started talking in her sleep again and I held her closer to let her know I was still here. It wasn't soon after that I fell asleep dreaming of Bella, here safe in my arms.

…

**Yes Edward knew James. If you've read 'never let go' that end bit was the start of explaining why Edwards face is so terrified in chap 11.**

**So… getting there**

**What you think?**

xx


	5. best wakeup ever

**I'm so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in like ages. I have stress fractured wrist which sucks n had some hell come back but I've found my release/escape in my writing again so it's ok.**

**Ok so I left you a little confused with Edward knowing James n sorry but you're going to have to wait to find that bit out later on in the story.**

**Here's the nxt chap it's 'best wake up ever' in both never let go n cant let go.**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

************************************************************

_~ V ~_

I was having the best dream ever; Bella was with me in my meadow, she looked so happy and what happened next was even better. I woke up feeling something soft touch my face, I must still be dreaming, I smiled as I felt the soft hand caress my face. I felt the bed shift slightly and felt the best thing in the whole world. I opened my eyes and sure enough Bella was kissing me. Bella, kissing _my_ lips. I smiled and went to deepen the kiss just as she went to pull away. I wasn't having that though. I grabbed her and held her tighter while I attacked her mouth with mine. I could feel Bella's shock at my actions but she responded by eagerly deepening the kiss making it more passionate.

"Well that's a way to wake me up." I whispered when we broke apart gasping for air before I kissed her softly four more times. "I'm guessing you slept well." I teased.

"The best night sleep I've had in a long time was in your arms. Then to wake up in them, I couldn't resist what I wanted." She confessed, blushing slightly. Did she really feel the same way about me as I did her?

"I guess I should just stay with you every night then." I said smiling at her.

She surprised me by giving me a quick chaste kiss. "Sounds good to me." She said against my lips.

"So.." I tried to say in between kissing Bella. "You want me eh?" I couldn't help but smirk which seemed to make her blush even more if that was even possible.

"I.. Um.. Well I mean.." Bella struggled to say.

I just laughed and tightened my grip on her. "Don't be embarrassed Bella." I said kissing the top of her hair. "I want you too." I told her leaning down to kiss her again.

"Breakfast?" I laughed when Bella's stomach growled.

She simply nodded. I got up quickly and offered her my hand to get up which she took willingly before I scooped her up into my arms and carried her out of the bedroom despite her protests.

"EDWARD! Put me down we'll fall down the stairs!" Bella squealed when I headed for the stairs.

I just laughed at me and started tickling her.

"Edward! Stop!" She struggled to say giggling.

I just kept laughing and swung her around onto my back. "You better hold on tight spider monkey." I chuckled.

I noticed how she tightened her grip around my neck and waist when her foot accidentally hit something.

"Watch where you're kicking you're foot angel." I smirked.

Bella slapped my chest and laughed. "Hurry up then and I wont touch there." She said. God did she know how much that teased me.

"Awww. Don't say that Bella. Maybe I want you to touch there." I told her trying to use my sweet talk voice.

She hid her face in between my shoulders and I could hear her soft giggles. "Just hurry up Edward. I'm hungry." She mumbled softly.

"Ok. Ok." I said as I walked us down stairs.

I didn't think that my whole family would be in the kitchen when I walked in with Bella on my back. They all looked up at us and smiled, except for Emmett who just burst out laughing, I knew what he was thinking.

"Nice ride there Bells?" He smirked unable to contain his laughter as he hit table and everyone burst into laughter then.

"Shutup Emmett. I'm starving and monkey man here was getting me down here faster." Bella snapped back at him.

"Yeah Emmett. Besides this spider monkey here can barely walk straight without falling over something. Do you honestly think she's any better with stairs?" I teased and I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. Bella knocked me with her foot right where my rather large erection was a lot harder than she did upstairs. I instinctly doubled over in pain as I dropped Bella off my back.

"You right there Eddie boy?" Emmett laughed.

"Fuck you Emmett." I said flipping him the finger.

"Edward. Language!" Esme shouted out.

"Sorry mum." I apologised, I knew better than to swear in front of mum.

Bella came up to me and whispered in my ear that she was sorry. Oh she was going to get it now.

"Its fine Bella. Just means I get to pay you back now." I told her with a wicked grin before grabbing Bella around the waist bringing her up against me.

"Oh yeah? How exactly are you going to do that?" She whispered.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I told her grinning. I couldn't help myself as I crashed my lips down on Bella's earning a slight squeal to escape her mouth. She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling my face down to hers to deepen the kiss more.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but too soon we were interrupted by Emmett clearing his throat loudly. Bella jumped away from me blushing deeply at our little show we had just very obviously displayed in front of everyone. I laughed and pulled her back up against me as we got breakfast for ourselves grinning like the fools we were.

After we finished eating I told Bella I wanted to take her somewhere with me today. I didn't tell her I would be taking her to my meadow, I wanted it to be a surprise.

I was leaning down to get my shirt when I heard someone moving around my room behind me. I looked up in time to see Bella trying to sneak back out before she got caught. "Well this is starting to become a habit of yours isn't it Bella?" I asked her teasingly.

"Bella?" I said trying to get her attention when she wasn't responding.

"Mmmm?" Bella murmured clearly distracted. I couldn't hide the smile that spread across my face at the fact that I was the one distracting her.

"I said we're all set to go if you're ready." I told her slipping my shirt on.

"Yeah. Sure. I'm ready. Where are we going?" She asked trying to be sneaky about it but I caught her out.

I walked over to her and put my around her waist. "Nice try Bella." I said giving her a quick chaste kiss. "It's just to a small, quiet place I like to go to alone. Nothing too extravagant" I added. That was the only hint I would give her, I wanted to see what she made of it.

Bella looked like she was thinking about something so I didn't disturb her thoughts as we said goodbye to Esme and walked out the door together.

I told Bella we would be driving most of the way then walking the rest. I held her hand the whole way there and we talked about things. I told her about college and she filled me in on all the embarrassing things Alice had got up to. We joked and sang along when a good song came on the radio.

It didn't take us long to get to the small trail. I opened Bella's door and helped her out of the car. Bella tripped over quite a few times, more often over her own feet. I ended up carrying her on my back like this morning the rest of the way.

We didn't talk much but every now and then I would kiss the palm of Bella's hand and in response she would bite my earlobe each time causing me to moan rather loudly.

I lowered her off my back when I could see the opening of the meadow and spun around to face her, taking both her hands in mine as I lead us out into the secluded meadow. I dropped her hands and stepped back to allow her to get a look at where she was standing. To say the least she looked stunned as she looked around the meadow.

Bella suddenly spun around to face me and threw herself into my arms and kissed me passionately.

…

**Hope you like. Again really sorry didn't update sooner.**

**Review n I'll put next chap up even sooner.**

**xx**


	6. god what this girl does to me

**Ok sorry I haven't updated in a while, will update more frequently I promise.**

**Enjoy**

**xx**

_****************************************************************************************_

_~ VI ~_

Bella was kissing me. _Bella_ was kissing _me_! I kissed her back with as much love I had in my heart for her. I don't know how long we had been kissing but I realized we were both running out of air to breathe. I reluctantly pulled out of the kiss and because I couldn't resist I gave her another quick one as I pressed my forehead against hers sighing happily.

"Bella." I said my voice a bit deeper than usual.

"Shh. Just lets stay right here for a moment." She whispered back. Well I was fine with that.

We stayed standing there in each others arms for a while. Bella gave me a quick kiss and stepped away only to take my hand in hers. "So.. What did you want to show me before I rudely distracted you?" Bella said.

I smiled at her and lead us over to the picnic blanket I had set up. "It was a good distraction." I chuckled as I pulled Bella down onto the rug with me. Unfortunately Bella tripped over the corner of the rug, where she fell didn't bother me; Bella fell straight down on top of me and I could feel every line of her beautiful body.

"Oh my god. Shit Edward! Are you ok? I'm so sorry." She rambled slightly. I laughed and smiled at her when I noticed she was holding her breath.

"Breath Bella." I said. I couldn't help but tease her a little bit. "I guess I really do take your breathe away." I laughed.

"Ahhh." She groaned and the sound made my body shiver in pleasure and I had to shift slightly so she wouldn't feel my erection coming on again but that was a failed attempt due to how we were positioned.

"Down big boy." Bella teased and smacked my chest as she pushed herself up into a sitting position and stripped. I don't know if she did that on purpose but god she just turned me on so much and the fact that she was now straddling me just added to it.

"What?" She said innocently.

"Do you have any idea how sexy that was just then?" I tried to say but my voice broke twice much to my embarrassment.

"Really?" Bella murmured in a sweet toned voice. She was up to something and I knew it would torture me.

"Incredibly." I murmured looking at her lips.

"I highly doubt that big boy." She said and continued when I looked at her slightly confused. "I mean what could be sexy about me removing my clothing while straddling you?" Bella said in that all too innocent voice.

I looked down at where Bella had her hands my hips and placed my own hands firmly on her hips as I rocked her gently forward to position her better on top of me.

"You seriously have no idea what you do to me?" I asked disbelieving.

"Nope." She said, popping the _'p'._ "No clue what you're on about." She teased but then her face turned dead serious. "What would anyone see in me?" Bella murmured.

"Bella." I said, but she wasn't looking at me and she tried to get up but I grabbed onto her harder and pinned her underneath me so she couldn't escape. "Isabella." I growled. "My Bella." I whispered softly. "Don't ever doubt that you are the most beautiful woman on this earth. You have no clue how men see you. How desirable you are." I told her in full honesty.

"Edward.." She started to say but I wasn't going to let her doubt herself.

"No Bella! I don't ever want to hear you doubt yourself like that again ok?" I told her firmly.

"Ok Edward." She allowed and then her face turned into a wicked grin again. "However I still don't know what effect I have on you." She said seductively while tracing the planes of his stomach underneath my shirt with her soft hands.

I moaned at the sensation of Bella's hands roaming over his body. "You. Are the most. Evil seductress ever. Why must you tease me so Bella?" I groaned when her hands roughly grazed over my nipples.

"Like you can talk, big boy." She smirked.

I couldn't take it anymore, I crashed my lips down on hers as she gripped my shoulders and hair, pulling me closer to her.

We stayed like that for quite a while, just kissing and clinging to each other. I noticed it had started to rain when I flipped us over so Bella was now on top but she seemed too distracted but then she pulled away suddenly.

"Bella?" I asked confused; had I done something wrong? "Is something wrong. Did I do something or.." Bella cut me off with a quick kiss.

"No, Edward it's not that. I just don't want to get drenched by the rain while making out with you." She laughed; I couldn't help but notice the innuendo in what she had said.

I looked up and scowled at the sky. "True." I murmured. "We wouldn't want you getting all wet now would we?" I teased her a little.

What Bella said and did next caused me to moan loudly. "Too late." She murmured seductively in my ear, and grinded her hips into mine; rubbing up against my erection.

"Come on Edward. Lets get home so I can help you with your big problem and you can help with mine." She laughed and pulled me up off the rug. "Race you back big boy!" She shouted back over her shoulder when she ran off towards the forest I was faster though.

I swung Bella over my shoulder and onto my back as I kept running back to where the car was. God what this girl does to me. She laughed at something when I slid her off my back and helped her into the car; I needed her and soon. But could I do it?

…

**Again sorry took so long to update was working on 'Never Let Go'**

**Review**

**xx**


	7. i cant

**Ok here we go, I'm trying to update this one more so that we can catch up to 'Never Let Go'**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

************************************************************

_~ VII ~_

I was driving really fast, faster than I normally do, back to the manor. Bella mentioned that she was getting cold and she slid her hand up and down my thigh. We got back in no time and it seemed everyone was out so we ran up to her room

"Edward." Bella giggled when I kissed up and down her neck. Wait! What was I doing? I can't do this to her, but I cant seem to be able to stop.

"Bella." I groaned

"Edward.." She moaned before she attacked my mouth with her lips. I moaned at the sensation and thrust my hips into hers as we crashed down on the bed with me landing on top. Bella pushed against my chest and I willingly flipped over so she could straddle my waist as she stripped off her singlet leaving her in nothing but a midnight blue satin and lace bra; of course she was wearing my favourite color. She started attacking my mouth again, but as she started to undo the buttons on my shirt I realized I couldn't do this.

"Bella.." I tried to get out while Bella continued to undo my buttons. I grabbed hold of her hands and took them away from my shirt. "Bella stop." I told her sternly when she looked up at me confused.

I saw her face turn to one of hurt as tears fell down her face and she quickly jumped off me and ran for the bathroom we both shared.

I heard her lock both doors and I could hear her painful sobs through the door. Shit. What had I done? She's fragile and I've just hurt her. Great work Cullen. I knocked on the door. "Bella I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Please let me explain. It's not what you think." I pleaded in a pained voice. "Bella. I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait outside this door all night if I have to." I promised her.

She unlocked the door and I saw how upset she was. I was a monster. "Bella I'm so sorry I should have explained, not just cut you off like that. I know what you're thinking. You think I don't want you, you feel rejected and after everything you're going through already you probably feel like jumping off a cliff right about now." I rambled but she only nodded in response.

"Bella." I sighed and took her hands as I led her to the bed. She sat down cross legged in front of me in the middle of the bed. "Bella I'm sorry. It's not that I don't want you. God I want you so much." I told her honestly.

"But Edward if.." She started to say before I cut me off.

"I want you so badly Bella. But I can not and will not take advantage of you. Bella, you are very fragile right now. You have been through hell and I have a feeling I don't know the half of it. And you don't have to tell me straight away. When you're ready I will listen and I'll help you move forward. For now I want you but I will not use you. I refuse to disrespect you like that. I want to get to know you more and for you to get to know me, to feel comfortable around me 'cause like I said, I'm not going anywhere. I care deeply for you Bella, and even though I've really only been with you the past few days I feel like I've known you my whole life and I feel a sort of pull like a connection towards you. I don't know I cant explain it and I probably sound like a fool right now." I told her while gently rubbing soothing circles on the back of her small hand.

"No Edward, I know exactly what you mean." She responded. Wait, what did she say? "I feel a connection to you too. I really appreciate that you know how fragile I am and that you wont use me. And I want to get to know you too. I would like to know the real you before we go that far. It's just that when you pushed me away like that. You said it yourself, I'm fragile right now and the first thing I thought was that you didn't want me and I had just put myself out there only to be crushed. As for what I've been through, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. You just need to give me time." She told me looking down.

I used my finger to lift her chin up so I could see her face. "Bella I have time. And I want to spend it with you. How about we just, hangout? You know go out on a few dates. Get to know each other and we'll see where we go from there. Start a fresh." I suggested.

"I'd like that Edward. Will you still stay with me at night?" She asked me looking unsure.

"Of course. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not going anywhere?" I told her laughing slightly.

She smiled then and said she was hungry. We headed down to the kitchen holding hands. I cooked her favorite mushroom ravioli. After eating dinner we went back upstairs. I got changed while Bella had a shower and I got in under the covers of her bed reading a book.

Bella walked out in her pj's; a blue satin camisole and flannel pants; I saw her standing there looking at me so I pulled back the covers and opened my arms invitingly for her. She snuggled in close to my chest, and I tucked the covers around us both.

She fell asleep quickly, but once again quickly shot bolt upright gasping for air and I just pulled her back against my chest which she clung to as sobbed. I laid us back down so I was flat against the mattress and Bella was curled into my side clinging to me. It took a while for her sobs to calm down and I asked if she was ok, or if she needed anything, she just shook her head. I kissed the top of her hair and forehead just like the other night; it seemed to soothe her and she fell back asleep in my arms as I hummed the lullaby I had put together for her. She was in so much pain; I wish I could take it away. I fell asleep dreaming of my Bella in my arms.

…

**REVIEW :P**

**xx**


	8. failing to talk to Emmett

**This chap is dedicated to Outrageous Oval… she's my Carlisle buddy, please get better soon. **

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

*************************************************************

_~ VIII ~_

I woke up pretty early, Bella was still asleep so I got up to get a drink quickly before she woke up. I was met out in the hall by Carlisle on my way back up to Bella.

"Edward, a word" He said sternly and motioned for me to follow into his study.

"What is it dad?"

"You need to be more careful with Bella. I told you she was very fragile and you're going to hurt her if you keep this up. Just back off from her ok…" He said and didn't look at me again.

I was annoyed and confused as to why he had pulled me aside to say that. Why would he think I would hurt Bella? Just as I was about to say something I heard Bella scream out and I ran up the stairs to find her sitting bolt upright in bed screaming, she was ghost white from whatever nightmare she had had now.

"Bella, Bella. Shhh it's ok. I'm so sorry I left you alone. You're fine now. You're safe. I'm back. Shh. Bella." I rushed out, cursing Carlisle for pulling me aside I would talk to him later about it.

"It's fine. I'm ok now. I guess I just panicked when you weren't here." Bella whispered as she sobbed into my chest

"I'm sorry Carlisle had just called me out to talk to me for a second. I didn't think you would wake up while I was gone." I kept trying to apologise to her.

"No it's fine. I'm ok. I think I want to get up now though." She said and I could tell something was wrong but I wouldn't push her about it.

"Sure Bella. How about we go downstairs for breakfast?" I offered Bella my hand to get up.

We ate breakfast in a sort of awkward silence and Bella told me she wanted to go speak to Carlisle about something. We didn't talk much as I drove her to the hospital. I gave her a soft kiss when she went to get out of the car and told her I would come pick her up when she was ready. She smiled and hurried into the hospital. What was I going to do now?

I quickly got my phone out and dialed Emmett's number, praying that he wasn't caught up in the moment doing something with Rosalie or something; I shuddered remembering when I had walked in on them. Luckily he picked up after three rings.

"_What's up little Eddie?" _Emmett answered.

"Emmett you know not to call me that." I growled into the phone, he just laughed in response. "Look are you doing anything?"

"_Nah don't think so why?"_

"Well you are now. I just dropped Bella off to talk to Carlisle and I kind of wanted to talk to you so meet me at the field in twenty. Oh and bring your bat." I told him and hung up quickly before he could say anything.

I drove to the old field where the family used to play ball, Emmett was already there swinging the bat around like an idiot.

"Dude you're going to knock someone's head off with that thing." I joked when I walked up to meet him.

"Yeah, yeah. So what did you want to talk about little bro?" He said still swinging the bat.

"Bella." Was all I said and he dropped the bat looking straight at me.

"What about her…?" He asked full on glaring at me now. What the hell?

"Exactly that." I stated. "What's up with you being so protective of her?" I asked honestly curious.

"Look Edward what you need to understand is Bella is like a baby sister to me. It's my job to protect her and I failed at it." He admitted ashamedly.

"What do you mean you failed?"

"I should have known. I should have gotten her out of there sooner. If I had then maybe she wouldn't of gone through that." He muttered more to himself but still rather angrily.

"Gone through what?" I asked really worried now.

"Hey guys haven't seen you here for a while." Some guy called out walking up to us now. Who the hell was this jerk? He looks familiar…

"Hey Ty man what's up?" Emmett greeted the guy punch his shoulder jokingly.

"Not much how's that girl Rosalie of yours doing?" He asked.

"She's great. Planning for the wedding and everything so yeah." Emmett answered. "Oh sorry dude this is my bro Edward. Edward this is Tyler from my old team." Emmett introduced us.

"Yeah I've met Edward before though he probably doesn't remember. He was a bit distracted last Christmas." Tyler laughed and Emmett joined in.

"Right yeah sorry you're right I don't remember; it's been a while since then." I said shaking hands with this Tyler guy. Something about him made me feel uneasy and he did look familiar but not in a good way.

"Oh crap Bella." Emmett muttered answering the phone. "Hey Bells you ok?" He said into the phone. Why would Bella be calling Emmett? "Yeah sure I'm on my way." He said before hanging up. "Guys look I've got to go pick up Bells but I'll be back soon she wants to learn how to play ball." He laughed. Bella… Play ball…?

"Cool I haven't seen Bells in ages mind if I help?" Tyler said a bit too enthusiastic for my liking.

"Yeah sure thing. Umm though Edward maybe you shouldn't be here…" Emmett suggested earning a glare from me.

"Why not?" I snapped.

"Easy bro, she just said she wanted to hang out with her older bro for a bit so I'm guessing she wants to talk. Just thought it might be easier on her." He snapped back.

"Fine." I growled and stormed off back to my car. As I drove off I couldn't help but think why Bella would get Emmett to pick her up when I told her I would. Feeling a little rejected I drove off back home, thinking of relieving some of my anger out in my music.

…

**Again sorry it's taken so long to update but I'm back now.**

**And just for everyone reading this n "Never Let Go", I'm letting you know I have just written the final chapter of Never Let Go, don't worry it's like chap 60something so still got a while to go but yeah. I want to catch up on Can't Let Go for a while so don't expect an update on Never Let Go for a bit but yeah I'm just having to edit all the chaps that I haven't posted n then they'll be up soon.**

**But yeah back to Cant Let Go, Edwards getting quite a bit of de je vu when it comes to this Tyler guy can you put it together…**

**Review n I update faster I promise**

**x**


	9. you've broken her

**Ok two chaps put up hrs within each other come on you gotta be happy with that.**

**So make me happy n review once you read :)**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

***************************************************************

_~ IX ~_

I drove home fuming but calmed down when I thought of waking up with Bella in my arms this morning. She was so perfect in every way. She was beautiful, smart, funny, incredibly clumsy, sexy in her own way, thoughtful and the most amazing person I have ever met. But there was also pain and hurt underneath it all. Something had happened to her and I had a sinking feeling it was something horrific seeing as how much it tortures and torments her every day. I wish she would trust me enough to tell me what had happened so I could protect her, but I wasn't going to push her. One thing I did know though was that I was falling and falling for her hard. I wanted to be the reason why she smiled, the one to comfort her and take away all of her pain, if only she would let me in.

I didn't even realize I was already at home just sitting in my car. I don't know how long I was out there but it was now past 2pm and I had left the field at 12, wow I lost track of time. I got out of the car and walked into the house heading for the kitchen.

"I was wondering how much longer you were going to just sit out there for." Rosalie chuckled when I walked in the kitchen, she was sitting at the table reading some bridal magazine.

"How long was I out there for?" I asked.

"A little over an hour at least." She murmured still looking at her magazine.

"Oh." Was all I could say, I was still thinking about Bella, my Bella.

"What were you doing sitting in your car out there then?" She asked looking up at me curiously now.

"Just thinking." I said quietly.

"About…" She said dropping her magazine. "Come on I. Penny for your thoughts." She laughed slightly at her words and kicked out the chair opposite her.

I grabbed some water from the fridge and sat down in the chair she had kicked out. "Well I was just thinking about Bella really." I told her honestly. I could always talk to Rose. She had come to me a few years back when she was raped in Port Angeles. We had been there for each other ever since knowing that even though we always seemed tense towards each other around others we would always be there for the other when they needed it.

"What about her?" She asked looking down slightly. I knew that face; she knew something. Rose knew something about Bella.

"You know something don't you?" I asked. She didn't answer at first, she only nodded.

She took a sip of the tea she had in front of her before talking. "It's not my place to say I. I've wanted to talk to Bella myself ever since she got here but I haven't had the chance." She answered taking another sip. "What exactly were you thinking about?" She asked.

"It's just she's so…" I started to say.

"Yes…" Rose hinted for me to continue.

"She's so wonderful, amazing, and perfect and yet something is tormenting her and killing her inside I can see it. I just don't understand how someone could ever even think about hurting her; she's like an angel but she's so hurt." I rambled on.

"You really like her don't you? I mean like you really and truly care about her." She said eyeing me. I just nodded in response and she pursed her lips in thought. "Look I. She's damaged and vulnerable beyond belief only she's not facing it. You have to be careful with her because she will snap soon. And I can tell that you want her to be yours and I'm sure she will be soon enough, I've seen you two around each other don't think I don't know. So act on it but just be careful with her." She finished there and we were quiet for a few moments until her phone suddenly went off. "Sorry I, it's Emmett." She said before walking out into the living room.

I got up and started to head for the piano when Rose called out. "Hey I Emmett's asked me to go out for dinner with him, Bella and Tyler I think but we'll talk more when I get back ok." She told me before walking out the front door just as I heard Emmett's jeep pull up. I checked my phone quickly, nope Bella hadn't called or anything; I suddenly felt a pang of jealousy and rejection. No, she's with Emmett they probably just want to catch up. I kept telling myself.

I decided to distract myself by working on the lullaby I had started writing for Bella. I don't know how many hours I sat at the bench playing but I finally got the ending right. It was perfect just like Bella. Bella… she should be home by now. I looked at the clock and sure enough it was after six. I decided to get myself something to eat but just as I got out the pans I heard a car pull up in the drive. I dropped everything and went quickly to the door waiting for Bella to walk in. I looked out the window and she had turned around to answer whatever Tyler had asked her.

"Yeah, sure thing Ty. Sounds great! Pick me up at about 7 yeah?" Bella answered him. Wait a minute. Tyler said something back and indicated to her attire.

"Yeah, Ok Ty. I'll even wear heels just for you." She laughed and started walking back up the stairs again. Wait was she going on a _date_ with this Tyler guy? "See you then. Night." She shouted back before he drove off down the drive.

I stepped back a bit and leaned against the stair railing. "Who was that?" I asked as soon as she walked in the door.

She looked up and smiled at me. "Oh. Hey I." She greeted me. "That was just Tyler. He gave me a lift home after dinner with Rose and Emmett. I refuse to go in that Jeep after they've had sex in it." She laughed and I cringed at the memories of walking in on those two.

"Oh." I said in a dull voice. "Did I hear you making plans to go out with him or something?" I asked her in a pained sad voice.

"Yeah. We're going clubbing in Port Angeles this Friday. He says he knows this really cool new place there. It's not like a date or anything, he's just a friend. You can tag along if you want." She told me and I was instantly relieved, and then she took off her baseball jersey leaving herself standing there in front of me in only a cheater print bra. I think they just became my favorite animal.

"Umm. Yeah. Sure." I stuttered out trying hard not to stare at her bare chest.

"Oh my god." Bella muttered, embarrassed. She blushed and went to run for the stairs only to trip halfway. I caught her before she could hit the floor, not realizing where my hands were until she moaned in my hold. I noticed I had one hand firmly around her waist while my other hand was grabbing her left breast. Not really wanting to move my hands I simply looked down at her beautiful face.

Bella suddenly grabbed my hair and pulled me down to level so she could kiss me fiercely earning a rather loud moan to escape me. I moved both of my hands to go firmly around her waist and she quickly jumped up and hitched her legs around my waist causing me to have to move my hands to her ass to stop her from falling. I didn't even notice when Emmett came in until he cleared his throat making Bella jump and fall off me down to the ground, a soft squeal leaving her lips as she fell on her ass. I immediately helped her up and wound my arms around her waist tucking my head onto her shoulder looking at Emmett. I noticed Emmett look over Bella's lack of clothing and attempting to cover her exposed chest from my dear brothers eyes.

"Eyes up Emmett" I practically growled at him.

"Chill dude, I was merely looking over the situation I've walked in on." Emmett smirked back, grinning like an idiot. "I think you're the one who needs to keep their eyes up and hands off. I don't want you hurting my little sis." He told me in all seriousness and glaring at me. Bella hung her head and I was pissed off at my brother for making her feel embarrassed.

"I could never hurt Bella!" I snapped back. "I care for her Emmett! I would never.." I continued, getting annoyed now.

"Ok, ok. Sorry. I just worry about her she's my little sis bro." Emmett defended.

"Actually you're MY older brother NOT hers. So stop acting that way." I shouted back.

"Maybe not in blood but she's my little sis in every other way that counts and it's my job to protect her." Emmett shouted at me.

"Oh so you think you need to protect her from me but you didn't think about protecting her from James!" I fumed.

"STOP!" Bella suddenly screamed. Stepping in between me and Emmett, I noticed she was shaking. "Don't do this or I'm leaving." She said looking at Emmett. "And YOU." She turned to me quickly. "Don't you DARE blame him for what James did to me! You don't even know the half of it! It was my fault. All mine. And Emmett did try to protect me. So don't you DARE say he wasn't protecting me before." She screeched. "IT WAS MY FAULT! I HATE HIM! WHY? WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME? I.. I.." She screamed whilst falling apart.

Rose has run in then just as Bella fell to the ground shaking violently. Rose rushed to Bella and took her straight in her arms trying to soothe her. "What the hell do you two idiots think you're doing?" Rose snapped at us. "She's fragile right now and you're fighting over something so stupid!" She screeched. "NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING NEAR HER!" She shouted at me when I tried to walk up to Bella. Bella had closed her eyes and started crying into Rose's embrace. "Neither of you come near her at the moment you understand?" She said pointedly to me and Emmett. "Edward you will not be staying with her tonight. She's going to sleep with me tonight, and don't even think about thinking anything suss you pervert Emmett. You two have broken her. She was already vulnerable and you're just making it worse. I'm taking her upstairs to her bedroom and locking the door. BOTH of them. And Emmett you're sleeping on the couch when I move back into our room, but for now enjoy the empty bed while I'm looking after Bella." She told us before picking up Bella carefully and carrying her upstairs as Bella clung to her.

I heard Rose slam the door to Bella's room and I looked at Emmett. He actually had tears in his eyes. My brother, Emmett, the big meat head was crying. I realized then that I also had silent tears falling down my face. What had we done? Emmett looked at me and I knew he was just as ashamed as I was.

We looked up the stairs to see a very pissed off looking Rosalie standing up the top. Her anger faded though and instead of swearing or going off at us like we deserved she said the most painful sentence ever. "I hope you know what you both have done." She said before starting to walk away but not before saying softly, "You've broken her."

With that said she went back to Bella and me and Emmett parted ways going into our own rooms. The hardest part was hearing Bella's sobs and not being able to comfort her. I had to make this right somehow.

…

**Yeah so there's how we start seeing Bella fall apart, don't worry just like in NLG it get's better.**

**We have clubbing coming up soon remember.**

**Edward talks to Emmett and Jasper in next chap**

**Xx**


	10. forgiveness

_~ X ~_

The hardest part of it all was hearing Bella's crying and screams through out the night and not being able to hold her and tell her everything was ok. I was an idiot for acting the way I did. Rose had warned me just hours before that she was fragile and I brought up James causing her to lose it and fall apart. Every scream was like a knife to my heart, every tear called out for me to wipe away. But I wasn't the one in there, I had been banished with good reason but I still wish that it was me in there instead of Rose.

I heard voices coming from Bella's room, telling me she was awake and talking to Rose. I wish it was me Bella was talking to about this. Soon after, I heard the door of her room open and Alice's excited scream echo throughout the house. I could hear Bella moving around her room before she headed out too. I looked out my window and saw Rose drive off in her M3 with Alice and my Bella. Sighing I figured it would be safe so I went into Bella's room. One look at her bed showed that she had a rough night and I felt the guilt creep up again. I had to make this right somehow.

I decided not to dwell up here and headed downstairs only to run into Emmett in the kitchen. He looked up from his plate which had barely been touched, now that was something new, Emmett never left anything on his plate.

"Hey" He said nodding at me.

"Hey…" I said awkwardly.

"Look Edward I need to apologize." Wait what? Emmett never apologized.

"You going all sissy on me bro?" I teased lightly. He laughed slightly and shook his head before continuing.

"Nah you know me, macho all the way." We both laughed at that. "But seriously dude about yesterday and Bella. Yeah I guess I kind of got a bit over protective a little. But you get me right? I mean she really is like a baby sister to me and after that jerk James. I just don't want to see her get hurt again." Even though he didn't actually say the words; that was the best apology Emmett would ever give to anyone.

"Bro don't worry about it, I put my foot in it and said things I shouldn't have." I started to say but Emmett put his hand up to silence me.

"We both did. You up to hanging out with J-man? He's wanting to go to the gym and I got no ideas so...." Emmett said standing up now. I grabbed my keys and heading out with him to the cars.

We took separate cars and decided to race to the gym, I of course won and earned myself an extra $20.

"Dude you always win it's so not fair." Emmett groaned handing over the money.

I just laughed and we walked into the gym. Jasper was already there waiting for us. Emmett headed straight for the weights and Jasper followed suit. I was more of a runner so I stuck to the treadmill while they worked out. We stayed there for about two hours before heading back home figuring the girls would need help with their bags. By the time I had changed into a clean shirt the girls had just pulled up and I quickly ran out to help Bella.

I had to admit, Bella had A LOT of bags. I tried to get a look at what she had bought and I noticed a Victoria's Secret bag. I tried to sneak a peek and my mouth literally dropped open when I saw what was in their. Bella had bought sexy lingerie and I mean _sexy._

"Hey, no peeking." She scolded me as we went through to her bedroom.

"I wasn't, I just lost grip on the handle for a second." I tried to cover up quickly closing the bag.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure Edward." She laughed, she actually laughed. Was I forgiven?

"So.." I started to say but chickened out.

"So.. What is it Edward." She encouraged.

"Nothing. Did you have a good time today Bella?" I said trying to change the subject.

"Yeah it was great fun. I actually enjoyed it. But I know that wasn't what you wanted to ask me. Spit it out Edward." She said.

"I was just going to ask if I'm forgiven." I muttered shifting my weight.

"Yes, of course you are Edward. I was never mad at you. But you have to know I am vulnerable right now and I can't have you acting like that if you want me to give us a try." She told me with a smile. She had actually forgiven me.

"I am sorry about how I behaved Bella. I was annoyed at Emmett, and I just took all my anger out on him and the situation. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry." I tried to apologize.

"Edward, like I said. It's fine. I was never mad at you." She said walking up to me. I took her into my arms and gave her a quick gentle kiss. Then another.. And another.. And another..

"So.." I said in between kisses. "Do I get a fashion show?" I couldn't help it as I smiled at her.

"Hmm.." She teased me with a quick kiss. "Not tonight big boy. You have to earn it first. And I think you may need another cold shower." Bella teased giving me a deeper, more passionate kiss, only to pull away and push me into our conjoining bathroom and leave me in their. I groaned in frustration and figured I might as well have a cold shower.

When I walked back into the room Bella was already in the bed. She pulled back the sheets inviting me in and I couldn't hide my reaction when I saw what she was wearing. It was one of the pieces in her Victoria's Secret bag I had seen before. It was a simple white silk negligee with vibrant blue lace detailing around the edges. It was short and barely covered her thighs and showed just the right amount of cleavage. Her hair was out and wavy. I swear I ad never seen anything more sexy than Bella was right then.

"Be.. Bella" I choked out much to my embarrassment.

"Yes Edward." She said innocently.

"What is that?" I asked stupidly.

"What is what Edward?" She replied a little too innocently.

"What is that you are wearing?" I finally struggled to get out.

"Oh this?" She said innocently tugging at the edge of the lace, hitching it up a bit higher, my eyes glued to her legs. "It's just a little something I bought today. I needed new nightwear you see." God she was teasing me.

"Well are you going to stay with me tonight now that I've forgiven you or should I go ask Rosie to?" She teased when I didn't move.

I rushed to her side and got in under the sheets. Bella inched closer to and rolled over so her back was flat up against my chest and grinded up against me. I moaned at the sensation and wrapped my arms around her bringing her closer against me.

"Bella." I moaned and kissed the tip of her shoulder. "You. Are. The. Most. Beautiful. And. Most. Evil. Seductress. Ever" I said between trailing kisses up from the tip of her shoulder, up her neck, to just underneath her ear.

"What can I say Edward. It's a gift. Now make sure you keep your hands on my waist, not an inch lower or higher you hear me?" She teased.

I groaned, frustrated and she laughed telling me she wanted to go to sleep.

I kissed the side of her neck again. "Sleep well my Bella. I'll keep you safe." I told her in all seriousness, I would never let her go again. I started to hum the lullaby I had put together for her and she soon relaxed and fell asleep in my arms. I closed my eyes in content and allowed sleep to take over as I laid there with my angel in my arms.

…

**Ok had no idea so just did quick gym bit.**

**Ok now the next chap is going to be intense, reread it in NLG and think of where it's going to go. It's EPOV so you see it all now.**

**Xx**


	11. can't let go

**Ok now that AN that said DO NOT REVIEW…**

**Well I meant don't review the AN cause this would be posted in replacement of it so all of you sillies who reviewed it yes I love you for saying to me to take it easy and just go at my own pace but now you can't review this so PM me :)**

**Anyhoo here we go the night club scene…**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

********************************

_~ XI ~_

I was dreaming of my beautiful angel Bella, when that annoying phone went off jolting me awake. It was then that I realized three different things. 1… the sun was up. 2… It was after 11am. 3… Bella hadn't woken up screaming during the night, not once. I noticed her waking up now though because of the stupid ringtone near her head so I quickly reached over to grab the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"_Umm who's this? Why are you answering Isabella's phone? Where the fuck is she? Who the fuck do you think you are answering her phone?" _Some annoying voice ranted through the phone. I honestly didn't care but I decided to pull them along a bit and have some fun.

"Oh yes, Bella, she's right here in bed next to me. I'll put her on for you." I said in a fake polite tone. "Bella sweetie, are you awake? Someone is on the phone for you." I murmured softly to my Bella still holding the phone next to my mouth So this jerk could hear.

"Mmmm. For the love of all that is holy. Who the hell calls at this time?" She muttered as I passed her the phone and pulled her closer to me, kissing along her neck softly. "Hello?" She said into the phone.

"Uh, sorry but who is this?" She asked confused.

"Oh crap Ty. Shit, sorry I guess I slept in and I'm a bit out of it now. Right tonight, yeah I'm up for it. Can I bring some friends along though?" Bella tried to cover.

"Well, I'll ask Rosie and Emmett if they want to come, um, Al and her guy Jasper, and of course Edward." She said tilting her head back to look at me. "Is that cool?" She seemed to be distracted by the kisses I was planting along her neck as she moaned softly.

"Mmmm, ahh, uh Edward Cullen, you know Em and Al's brother, yeah well he's a friend." She told him pulling the phone away from her ear slightly.

"Uhhuh... That was him. My phone was closer to him and you woke both of us up." She said clearly not thinking before saying those words.

"Look Ty, I got to go ok. Um so yeah pick us all up at 7 still yeah. See you then." She said quickly before flipping her phone closed.

"Do you have any idea how distracting you are?" She asked me.

I just continued kissing and nipping at her neck. "Me a distraction? I don't see how." I smirked at her, enjoying the reaction I was getting from her.

"Ahh. Ok mister. You asked for it." She muttered and I looked up at her confused for a moment.

"What do you me…" I started to ask, but she didn't let me finish. She rolled us over and was now straddling me she kissed me and I was shocked at first, but it didn't take me long to respond. I grabbed onto her hips and rocked her forward so that she was placed more comfortably astride me. I started thrusting up to meet her hips unintentionally as she grinded up and down my body. The feel of her body on me was amazing. I pulled her tighter against me but she pulled away. I looked at he and she had a massive grin on her face.

"Wha.." I started to say but Bella cut me off by putting her hand over my mouth, before lowering her face to whisper in my ear.

"Time for your cold shower big boy." She teased licking up the side of my neck. She jumped off of me quickly but then did something totally unexpected. She stripped. Right in front of me, Bella stripped. She dropped the white negligee to the floor, leaving her standing there in just her sexy midnight blue bra and g-string set, my jaw literally dropped as I admired the goddess before me. I swear she was trying to torment me as she turned around and bent down to pick up the negligee giving me a perfect view of her ass in that g-string. I moaned and gripped onto the sheets pulling them up to cover my obvious erection. She threw the negligee into the washing basket and before putting on a very short denim skirt that only just covered her fine ass, and a blue lace spaghetti strap top. She bent over and slowly did her pretty shoes up, and I swear I was in hell. Bella spun around to face me then. She walked over and gave me a deep kiss but when I grabbed onto her hips to pull her back into the bed she simply stood back up. "Make sure you're not too long in the shower mister." She teased winking at me before walking out the door.

I groaned out in frustration and hit my head with my hand, I was so hooked on Bella. I was getting sick of all of these cold showers so I decided to go without and just got changed before heading downstairs.

As I reached the doorway I heard Bella telling the others about tonight.

"Umm, well Ty is picking us up at 7 so yeah." She told them.

"Oh my gosh! That means we only have 7 hours to get ready." I heard Alice screech. I laughed slightly; trust Alice to panic when there's seven hours to get ready. "Come on Bella. I need to make you sexy as hell." Alice said tugging Bella my way.

"She already is that." I grinned down at Bella when she reached me.

"Oh hush Edward. You wont be able to contain your erection when you next see her. And you already seem to be having trouble with that." Alice smirked at me.

My jaw dropped as I watched Alice tug Bella upstairs, that little…

"Edward!" Mom called out to me from outside.

"Yeah mom…?" I said walking out to see her working in her garden.

"Oh, honey good. Someone dropped a letter off for you earlier. It was on the front porch when I got up so it's in the living room now." She said sweetly as she put in yet another plant to add to her beautiful garden.

"Ok, thanks mom." I said walking back inside. There on the coffee table was a letter for me. The envelope was tattered and had coffee stains on it. I opened it up and was instantly confused over what I read.

_Edward Cullen,_

_What you enjoy now will soon be gone._

_You have something I want and I wont stop until I get it back._

There was no name signed but I got a chill over those words. What did they want? I didn't understand it but at the same time I felt like I knew I just couldn't see it.

…

It was now 630 and I was waiting downstairs with everyone waiting for Bella to come down. When she walked down I literally stopped breathing for a moment. She was sexy… no she was more than sexy… she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was wearing a royal blue corset with black lace patterns, a pair of black incredibly short mini shorts, and knee high stiletto boots with fishnets. Her hair really was one of those "_sex-do's"_

"Wow Bella. You look SEXY!" Emmett's booming voice shouted out.

She blushed and looked down. "Uhh. Thanks Emmie bear." Bella said.

"So I'm forgiven?" Emmett asked, hesitantly.

"Yes, of course you are you big bear." she said as he ran up and gave her a hug.

Emmett said something quietly to Bella but I couldn't hear what.

"Don't worry about it Emmie bear. Let's just go get drunk, dance, and have fun ok?" She said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hell yeah." Emmett shouted. He walked over to where Rose was standing in her short black tube dress.

I walked over to Bella and grabbed her around the waist. I kissed the side of her neck softly and murmured, "You have no idea how sexy you look Bella. Why must you tease me so?" in her ear as I held her close.

"Maybe you should hurry up and ask me out sometime, then maybe I wont only tease you, I may act on it." She teased me stepping out of my grasp.

There was my golden opportunity right there. "You" I said kissing her neck. "Me" And again "Tomorrow" Another "Dinner" I kissed her hand the last time.

"I do believe you just asked me out on a date Edward Cullen." She smirked at me.

"Yes indeed I did. So will you go out with me Bella?" I asked suddenly nervous.

"Yes Edward. All you had to do was ask. Dinner would be great." She answered.

A sudden horn was sounded from outside. "Ty's here guys we got to go." Bella told everyone.

Tyler was waiting outside his van, I noticed how when he saw Bella his face lit up. "Bella. You look. Wow." He said opening the passenger door for her. I was automatically jealous and wanted to keep him away form her.

"No way. Tyler." Emmett shouted. "I call shotgun." With that he ran forward and jumped in the passenger seat. Tyler looked disappointed and I didn't hide the smirk that was on my face as he let the rest of us in the back part.

The ride to the club was funny. We had already started drinking tequila shots and we were now watching Alice give Jasper a lap dance with his hands behind his back so he couldn't touch. He could look but he couldn't touch; the worst torture ever. When we got to the club we got let in straight away thanks to Bella, Rosie and Alice flirting with the bouncer; though I didn't approve it still got us in quickly.

It was amazing the room was full of people, the bar was well stocked, there were private areas to sneak off to, an awesome dj and dance floor. We got one of the private areas for all of us and got drinks to get us started. Tyler sat on one side of Bella, while I was on the other, I tried to get Bella's attention but Tyler always interrupted us. When Bella headed out to the floor I decided to follow her.

She smiled up at me when we reached the dance floor. "Hey sexy."

"I could say the same thing to you, but your so much more than sexy, you are so beautiful Bella." I told her truthfully.

"Dance with me." She said.

She grabbed my hands and spun around so her back was pressed up against me. She placed my hands on her hips and started moving her hips to the beat of the music. When we started getting into it Bella lat go of my hands on her hips and reached her arms up, pressing up against me. She reached her arms to wrap around the back of my neck, leaning her body into mine more. I never knew she could dance like this. We danced like that for a while and I couldn't resist kissing up her neck. Bella spun around in my grip to face me and pushed her hips forward into mine. She reached up and kissed me full on.

We were kissing for quite a while before Bella was suddenly yanked off me and I was being pulled back by some guy. "What the hell?" Bella snapped

I saw Tyler, he was holding my Bella back while the other guy was holding me back. There was something off about Tyler and he had really pissed me off. "Dude what the fuck is your problem?" I snarled at him.

"What the fuck's my problem you ask? She isn't your girl Edward Cullen so get stay the fuck off her." Tyler shouted at me.

Now I was really angry, what the fuck was this dude's problem, that's when I remembered him. This was the same guys from last year that told me to stay away from Bella. Hold on that meant that he was…

That's when he walked up behind Bella. It was _him._ I was absolutely terrified of what he wanted. He was the one that left the note and now he was coming to get what he wanted… Bella.

"What the fuck Tyler? I'm more Edward's girl then yours. I'm not your girl so don't even think that I feel that way about you. You were just a friend. I'm not yours." Bella shouted at Tyler. She didn't even realize her ex was right behind her. She never made the connection between the two. This had been a trap. And Bella was smack in the middle of it.

"You're right Bella." James said from behind her. Bella's face paled and she looked terrified. "You're not his girl. You're _mine."_ James said in all possessiveness as Tyler let go of her and stepped aside so he could snake his arms around my Bella's body, feeling her all over. She looked sick.

"Told you I'd get her here for you James." Tyler told him.

"Ty.. Ty..ler. You. Please no." Bella choked out.

"What is it Bells? Why do you think I backed off when I heard you were with James? I couldn't screw my cousin's girl. All I could do was make sure she was always his. When you told me you left him, I knew I had to get you back to him." He said darkly. "You stupid slut." He did not just call my Bella a slut.

"Don't call her that." I shouted, trying to break away from whoever was holding me back. The guy was strong though and he punched me right in the stomach. Bella really looked terrified for Edward. Where were the guys... I could hear Emmett somewhere close by, I just hope he saw what was happening and could stop it before it was too late.

"Did you really think you could leave me Isabella?" James sneered in Bella's ear. He licked her face and she cringed away.

"You must be dumber than you look. You're his Bells. You belong to him, you're his property. You can't honestly think he would let you just leave him." Tyler sneered. I wanted to punch him in the face.

"That's enough Tyler. You will not talk to my bitch like that." James snapped at him. "Come on baby. You're coming with me." James whispered in her ear, biting her earlobe. She shivered and I could tell it was out of fear not pleasure like whenever I touched her that way. "Ahh. Still the same Isabella. You can't resist me when I do that can you? Are you wet for me baby?" He said snaking one of his hands down her back into her shorts. I was so tempted to rip his head off for touching my Bella there. No one could touch her there except for me. "Tisk, tisk Isabella. You're not even the slightest bit wet. You'll have to be punished for that." He said menacingly. Bella looked straight into my eyes, her eye's reflecting the same as mine; full of fear and pain, we both knew what was going to happen. I couldn't let this happen. Not to my Bella.

"Bella, angel I love you. I'll save you I promise." I rushed out my promise before the guy holding me punched me in the gut again, I looked back up at her again as James started to dragged her away. I saw the guys then and took my chance

"EMMETT!!! JASPER!!! BELLA... JAMES BACK EXIT!! GO NOW!! YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER!!!" I tried to shout to Emmett and Jasper while James walked my Bella in a choke hold out the back. Their heads snapped up at me and saw the guy holding me punch me again as Tyler lunged for me. Jasper went straight after Bella and James while Emmett got the guys off me. People around us realized what was going on finally and there was five guys around us immediately holding down the two that had attacked and we ran after Bella. Emmett caught up to Jasper and I saw them run out the door.

"Edward what the hell is going on?!" Alice screeched at me.

"Alice go and get Rose NOW! It's Bella I don't have time just get Rose and call Carlisle. Tell the club just hurry!" I shouted at her before running out the back. I heard Jasper yell out before I got through the door.

"BELLA! WAIT! STOP!" I ran out there and saw Emmett holding a hysterical Bella in his arms.

"BELLA. OH MY GOD. BELLA!" I shouted and ran up to her, taking her out of Emmett's arms and into mine. She clung to me and I clung to her just as tight as she cried her heart out. James had come back. I didn't even want to think of what he was planning to do to her. I had to make sure she was alright. "Bella. Bella, are you ok? Bella please say something anything." I said frantically, my voice sounding pained.

"Edward.." was all she said before the tears took over.

"Shh Bella. I'm here. He's gone. I'm so sorry angel. I'm so sorry. I love you. You're safe here with us. Shh." I tried to soothe her.

"Bella. Oh no. No. No. No. Bella." It was Rose.

"Rose, sweetie. Don't, give her space. Let her be with Edward." Emmett told her.

"Edward she's going to pieces. We have to get her out of here. NOW!" Rose shouted at me. She was crying and I knew why.

"Alice has called Carlisle and Esme. She's waiting out front for them. They're on their way now." Jasper said softly.

"Edward!" Rose shouted at me again. "Edward listen to me!" I was listening but I couldn't find myself able to move us. Bella was here, in my arms. I couldn't let her go. "She's going to pieces you need to get her away from HERE! NOW! I'm serious look at her she's about to break." She tried to tell me. And I understood what she meant right away. Bella started hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably. I snapped out of it and scooped Bella up into my arms and ran back through the club and out the front door past the bouncer.

"Hey guys is she alright?" The bouncer asked concerned.

That's when Bella lost it. She started screaming, her back arching out of my arms, I tried to hold her closer to me but every time she would scream.

"Ok. Everyone back up. Get away from her now." I heard the bouncer telling the public. He came over to see if she was ok, which she clearly wasn't. "I've paged the manager and he's called for an ambulance, it should be here in two minutes." He told me. I simply nodded and turned my attention back to Bella.

Carlisle and Esme were standing next to me over Bella a few seconds later. Esme gasped and shrank back to where the others were. Carlisle stayed and tried to see if Bella had been hurt but she kept screaming every time he tried to touch her.

"Edward she's gone into severe shock trauma and I can't fully examine her here to see if anything else has been done to her, she needs to go to hospital." Carlisle said in a worried voice.

"The bouncer called for an ambulance it should be here soon." I told him holding my Bella close to me the whole time. I couldn't lose her.

The ambulance turned up then and quickly got her on a stretcher. I wasn't leaving her side and jumped in the ambulance with her immediately. One other person was allowed to come, I was about to say Carlisle when Bella screamed out.

"ROSIE!!! EDWARD!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME!!!" Rosalie screaming at everyone to let her pass as she jumped in the ambulance with us. I wouldn't let go of my Bella. I had to tell her.

"Bella. Bella I love you. Bella hold on angel. I love you." I said in a pained voice and kissed her lovingly as I her eyes rolled into the back of her head. The ambos got me to let go of her then so they could look over her and I reluctantly let go and held onto Rose as we both cried.

"She'll be ok. She'll be ok. She'll be ok…" Rose kept saying under her breath. She had to be right. Bella had to be ok. I couldn't lose her. I wont let go. I _can't let go_.

…

**Ok so what did you think…**

**First time title mention did you catch that?**

**Ok so will be updating this a lot while I'm on break so don't panic just give me a couple more days n then I'm back I promise.**

**REVIEW n I'll be extra nice :P**

**xx**


	12. need to see those eyes

**Thankyou to everyone for being patient with my updates. Its been really hard the past week and the funeral was hell so thankyou for not pushing me. I only had one person go off at me and I don't even really get why they did but ok.**

**So here's the next chap in CLG and I will be updating NLG very very soon.**

**Hopefully you guys like it.**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

**************************************************

_~ XII ~_

39hours. It had been 39hours since I got into this cramped bed with my Bella. 39hours since I had seen my angels beautiful eyes. She would scream out every now and then, or whimper my name. It hurt so much to see her like this, I just wanted to see her eyes.

"Do you think she'll wake up soon? I mean she should be awake by now right?" Rosalie asked Carlisle franticly.

"Rosalie. She's been through a horrific trauma. Her mind needs to rest. She needs time to heal. She'll come around when she's ready." Carlisle told her reassuringly.

"Has Edward said anything yet?" He asked her. Of course I haven't said anything. My angel couldn't so neither could I.

"Not a single word." Rosie sighed. "He just lies there with her refusing to eat, speak or move." She told Carlisle. What did they expect? My angel is in pain. She's unconscious because of all the pain. I had to protect her.

"I know he refuses to move, I had a few of the nurses complain to me about it. I'm not going to make him move though. He's connected to Bella in a strange way. It seems that he wont, wake up you could say, until she does. I just hope that's soon." Carlisle sighed. That was true. I refused to 'wake up' until Bella does. Without Bella there is no point. She is my life. I can't let go.

I moved closer to my Bella, trying not to hurt her, I just needed to be closer. I looked up at her beautiful face, she looked so peaceful. I brushed a bit of stray hair out of her face and ever so gently kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her lips even softer, then her hand. I didn't realize I was crying but the sobs shook my body and Bella's as I felt my heart get ripped from my chest. I just needed to see her eyes.

"Bella." I barely whispered quietly. "Bella, I love you. Please wake up. I need to see your eyes. Bella, please." I sobbed quietly.

"Son." Carlisle said placing a hand on my shoulder, I just shrugged it off and shook my head saying no. I reached my arm across Bella's fragile body and clung to her, keeping her close closing my eyes.

**2 days later…**

I was dreaming of my Bella. How she had looked that day in the meadow. She was so beautiful. I was just holding her in my arms, looking into those eyes when I heard someone yell out, waking me up.

"Dr Carlisle."

"What. What is it?" He asked franticly.

"Her heart rate and brainwaves are signalling she's coming around." The nurse said him with hope. My eyes snapped open but hers were still closed.

"Bella. Bella can you hear me?" Carlisle asked her flashing his torch across her eyes to get a response, but there was none. "No. She's not responding. It must be a false alarm." Carlisle said sounding tortured. I collapsed back down next to Bella, my heart breaking again.

"Please, we can't handle any false hope, especially my son." I heard Carlisle telling the nurse. With that said they left the room, leaving me alone with my sleeping angel.

"_Bella." _I sighed tightening my hold on her. I closed my eyes for a second and felt her body move. I tensed and looked up at her face. "Bella?" I said with hope that she was waking up finally.

Very slowly, Bella opened her eyes and gazed around warily. She turned her head slightly and looked straight at me. She was awake. Her eyes looking into mine.

"Bella. Oh Bella. Bella. Bella." I kept repeating her name over and over, gently caressing her face. "CARLISLE!" I shouted out before returning my attention to my angel. "Bella. My angel. Bella. I love you. Bella." I kept saying.

She slowly lifted her small delicate hand up to my face and held it there against my left cheek. "Edward.." She breathed my name. She said my name "Edward.. I.." She struggled to say.

"Shh Bella it's alright. Everything's alright. You're safe. I'm here." I chanted.

At that moment Carlisle and the nurse walk into the room, but I only had eyes for Bella. "Did you hear my son call out.." Carlisle started to say then saw Bella awake. "Bella. Oh thank god she's awake." He said to himself. "Go get any available nurses and get them in here now." He told the nurse before addressing Bella. "Bella you're awake."

She didn't say anything, she just kept staring into my eyes. I stared straight back into hers never wanting to look away. We both just laid there not bothering about the others in the room, as we just stared into one another's eyes, gently caressing each others faces.

"Bella are you able to speak?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes she's able to speak she said my name before." I snapped at my father. This was the first I had spoken to him in days but I was focused solely on Bella.

"Edward." Bella said quietly. I turned my attention back to Bella as we continued to caress each others face.

"Shh. Bella it's ok. Angel just rest." I said softly looking into her eyes.

"Though I agree with you Edward I need to ask her a few questions first." Carlisle said gently.

"Well can't it wait?" I snapped at him again.

"Edward." Bella said her voice slightly stronger now. "I'm fine. I'll answer the questions for your father." She told me warily.

"Alright, Bella. Well you just did one for me. You can form sentences clearly so that's a good sign." Carlisle said encouragingly. "Now, is there any pain?" he asked.

"Not really. My head hurts a little and my body aches, but there's no real pain, just some discomfort." She murmured and I was relieved that she wasn't in much _physical _pain but by looking in her eyes I could see how much pain she was suffering _emotionally_.

"That's a good sign. A very good sign." He said reassuringly. "How much do you remember?" He asked carefully. This was what I was terrified about. I stiffened but relaxed slightly when I felt Bella squeeze my hand gently.

"I remember all of it. I remember Tyler, James and then going into shock. The last thing I remember is Edward and Rosie in the back of the ambulance with me. Edward was holding me, he told me he loved me." She told us.

I relaxed a little that she had no memory loss at least. "That's when she lost consciousness too." I told Carlisle and he smiled.

"This is very, very good Bella. You are completely aware of what happened, there's no memory loss. And you said there's no pain." Carlisle said smiling at both of us. I wasn't expecting Bella to snap at what he said.

"I didn't say there wasn't any pain. I just said there wasn't any _physical_ pain." She snapped at Carlisle. "If you think for a second I'm ok emotionally then you've got no idea." She told him sternly. She had never snapped at Carlisle before. Something was wrong I could tell.

"Carlisle, I appreciate this, but Bella's answered your questions, I think it's better if you laid off her now." I told Carlisle not intending my words to come out so sternly.

"Of course son, I'm sorry Bella. I'll leave you two alone. Buzz for me if you need anything." He said with a sad look in his eyes and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"I didn't mean to snap at him. I don't know what came over me." Bella muttered, relaxing into my chest.

"I know angel. I didn't mean to either. He understands though. We're both stressed and scared, I think. We can apologise to him when this is all over ok?" I tried to reassure her as well me. I softly kissed her forehead.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?" I said looking down at her.

"Will you stay with me?" She asked. As if she even had to ask. I wasn't going anywhere.

"Of course angel. I'm not going anywhere. Do you honestly think I've left this bed since you were brought I here?" I laughed slightly.

"Yeah, I got to admit you stink Edward." She laughed with me. She was laughing. "Its fine though. I wouldn't want to be anywhere but in your arms." She murmured. "Edward?"

"Bella?"

"Will you kiss me?" She asked carefully.

"Bella you seriously have to ask?" I replied smiling slightly. I leant down to press my lips gently against hers trying to be careful. She deepened the kiss causing me to moan when her tongue slid into my mouth. We pulled apart when Bella was needing to breathe.

"Bella.." I breathed.

"Edward.." She sighed. I saw her eyes began to droop, she was exhausted

"Shh. Bella. Sleep now. I'll still be here holding you when you wake up I promise. I love you." I told her, rubbing soothing circles on her back, humming her lullaby softly. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep and I soon followed with my angel safe in my arms. She was back.

…

**Ok theres that one done.**

**You all remember what comes up next…**

**Bella goes a little bit crazy but wait til you see Edwards reaction.**

**Review = update**

**xx**


	13. wheres my angel gone

**Ok so I reread this chap in NLG and I slipped up in my editing. Ok so when I noted that Bella talked to the cops it said she told them about the abuse AND the rape. I forgot to take out her telling the rape part cause that was later on with the Cullens. So just so you aint confused when you read it from EPOV, Bella has NOT said anything except to Rose and Carlisle about her rape. I will go back in NLG and fix it up.**

**But anyhoo here's the next chap in CLG**

**Enjoy **

**Xx**

**********************************************************

_~ XIII ~_

Three more days of being with Bella in that wretched hospital bed and I thought I was going to burst. She was finally released and allowed to go home. I was relieved beyond words but I couldn't help but sense that something was wrong. She seemed fine when she talked to the cops and told them everything about the abuse. But she didn't tell _me_ everything. She was hiding something and I was terrified to find out the extent of what she had been through. Bella seemed off, distant even and it hurt not knowing what was going through her head.

As I drove us back home Bella wasn't talking and it was driving me insane. "Bella?" I said placing a hand on her leg, causing her to jump and give out a little scream. "Bella. Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." I apologized. "Are you ok?" I asked concerned. "Bella?"

"I.. I'm fine." I could tell she was lying. "Just a little jumpy." She said quietly, refusing to look at me.

I sighed hurt that she couldn't even look at me. "We'll be home soon angel. Esme has made dinner for you, the others are going out to Jasper's party, but if you're not up to it we can just have a quiet night in if you'd like. Face everyone later instead. I know it's going to be hard for you Bella." I told her and for a moment she looked… well, pissed off.

"Edward I'm fine. I want to see everyone. I am capable of facing people you know. I'll tell you if I can't handle something ok?" She said sternly. What had I done?

I kept driving in silence trying to figure out what I had done to aggravate her so. I offered my hand to help her out of the car like I always do, but she didn't take it. "God Edward I can get out of a car myself you know. Just back off a bit." She said annoyed.

I was shocked and hurt but I just went along with what she wanted. "Ok Bella, I'm sorry. I was just offering to help." I said stepping back out of her way.

"Well I don't need your help ok!" She snapped. What had happened to my Bella? This wasn't my angel. Something was wrong.

"Edward.. I.. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." She apologised, tears starting to build up in her eyes.

I walked over to Bella slowly, my arms open invitingly for her. She ran into my open arms sobbing. "Edward.. I.." She tried to say.

"Shh. Bella it's ok. Don't worry about it." I murmured into her hair.

She cried into my chest, then grabbed at my shirt, reached up and kissed me. It wasn't like our other kisses soft and gentle kiss, it was fierce and aggressive. This wasn't Bella and I didn't respond at first to the kiss and she stuck her tongue in his mouth and tried to force me to respond. I gripped onto her arms and pushed her away off me.

"Bella. What's gotten into you? This isn't you." I said searching her eyes for my love. "Where's my angel gone? Where's my Bella?" I muttered to myself.

"I'm right here Edward. What are you talking about?" She said in a strange tone. "Look at me," She said gesturing to her body. "This is me. What you see is what you get. If you don't like it maybe I should go find someone who does." She snapped at me. No!

She pushed me and ran back to the car. I realized I had left the keys in the car but I was too late to stop her as she started the car and sped off down the drive away from me. I ran after her shouting for her to stop, begging her to come back. But she just sped up and kept driving. I fell to my knees crippled from the pain I was feeling.

"Come back Bella… Please" I pleaded to no one my voice breaking.

"Edward…" Rose's voice croaked and I saw that she was crouched down with me. She hugged me and I hugged her back as the tears fell from both of us. "We'll bring her back. I promise Bella will return. I'll save your angel. I promise."

My angel… What had happened to my angel? She was gone and replaced with a stranger. I suddenly felt a shiver run down my spine and my heart clenched tight. Something wasn't right. I have to get Bella back. NOW.

…

**Hmmm so Edwards feeling Bella's betrayal… remember Matt and Embry… they're coming up lets see what Bella was really getting herself into I'll even throw in some of JasperPOV if people want.**

**This chap is short in both CLG and NLG because it's just leading to the party and Bella's 'change'.**

**Review = update**

**xx**


	14. the one thing i never wanted to see

**Hope you are liking the twist so far. Bad girl Bella is here for this chap, just waning you. Still dedicated to vampiric love56.**

**Enjoy**

**Xx**

******************************************

_~ XIV ~_

"Rose we don't even know where she would have gone." I sighed defeated. We had been looking for Bella for over two hours now and were back at the manor when suddenly Jasper called.

"Jasper…?" Rose said confused when she answered, I heard him shouting something in response.

"Ok ok he's right here." She said pulling the phone away from her ear. Wordlessly she passed the phone onto me.

"Hello…?" I asked carefully.

"Edward get over here NOW! It's Bella you need to get here!" As soon as he said Bella's name I was running out the door.

"Rose stay here! I'll be back ok!" I yelled back over my shoulder as I jumped in her car and sped off to Bella.

**JASPERPOV…**

What was Bella wearing? Actually I take that back because she wasn't wearing ANYTHING! There she was drinking with some loser in nothing but her bra and shorts and a pair of 'fuck me' boots. Why wasn't she with Edward? I quickly went to grab Alice and my phone. I called Edward quickly and when I came back out into the room I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Bella was… dancing if you could call it that… on a TABLE! She wasn't alone either. And oh no it was one guy but two. I recognized Embry in front of her grinding up the front and Matt up the back… with Bella in the middle… BELLA!

People were taking pictures and videos cheering the jerks on while Bella took a swig from a drink Embry had. Then he was… kissing her… I saw Matt bite down on her neck and she screamed out in pain and he kissed up her neck but then she let her head go back and Matt was kissing her and thrusting up against her while the guy in front attacked her exposed chest.

Alice came up next to me then and seeing how furious I was looked over at what had my attention and she screamed.

"BELLA!" I couldn't take it anymore.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" I shouted angry and someone turned off the music, I looked and saw it was Edward. Fuck.

**EPOV…**

"BELLA GET DOWN FROM THERE NOW!" Jasper shouted but she was distracted by the two guys up against her still going at it the pigs.

I watched in horror and disgust as Matt snaked his hands lower down into her shorts.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER NOW!!!" I shouted. I was going to fucking kill these guys "MATTHEW! EMBRY! GET AWAY FROM HER NOW!" I growled.

Bella looked as if she was trying to get away but Matt kept her to him as he obviously fingered her and she screamed out in agony. The whole room was dead silent now as the others looked on at what was going on.

Jasper yanked Embry off away from Bella and punched him in the face as he fell to the floor while I took care of Matt. But something was wrong with Bella, she couldn't stay up by herself and suddenly she fell, Alice screamed but I caught her Just before she could hit her head back on the table.

"Bella? Bella can you answer me?" I rushed out franticly. She didn't respond in anyway, her eyes were barely open.

"JASPER GET HER SOME CLOTHES SHE'S FREEZING!" I shouted at him.

"OK EVERY ONE OUT NOW! NOW GO! ALL OF YOU!" Jasper yelled at his guests.

Everyone leaved without question and Jasper pulled back Matt and Embry.

"You JERKS!" Alice screeched. "What did you do to her?" She was crying now.

"We didn't do anything. We were just dancing, having a good time. She had picked me up before and we came here. She said she needed to be distracted." Matt said defensively.

"One of you slipped her something. What was it?" Jasper yelled. I gasped and held Bella tighter. No, no, no she can't go through this not after everything else.

"What! No. No way! Jasper, man you know I don't do that shit!" Matt argued back.

"Yeah but you do don't you Embry?" Jasper accused.

"Yeah, so I might have slipped her something. So what it was just one pill!" Embry shouted. I was seeing red but then I felt Bella go limp in my arms and looked down at her panicking.

"What was it you no good piece of scum!" I snarled.

"Calm down it was only ecstasy she'll be fine." Embry said as if it was no big deal. I was going to rip his head off

"I want you two gone NOW! And don't even think about going near her again. If I ever see either of you around here again I'll kill you." Jasper told them.

Jasper slammed the door after them and my attention was all on Bella. "Bella?" I whispered. She moved in my arms a clung to me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is she ok?" Jasper asked.

"I think she will be. Just the effects of the alcohol and drug mixing with everything else she's been through. She just needs to heal. I think that's where she'll be at when she comes around. I'll be with her every step of the way too." I said, kissing her forehead gently.

"Why was she with Matt anyway? She'd never even met him before?" Alice asked.

"She had run off really angry. It was to be expected after everything she's been through. She stole my car and I'm guessing by what he said she picked him up and they came here. Like he said she was after a distraction." I said remembering her running from me. She had picked up some stranger to her to forget.

"You don't think she.. You know.. Did anything with him do you?" Jasper asked. "They seemed to be getting pretty intimate." He continued.

"Oh god I hope not. I could barely stand seeing that scum touch her I don't want to think that he might have done that with her." I said disgusted if that guy had touched her that way and hurt if she let him.

"I don't think they did." Alice said. I looked up at her and she was looking at Bella. "I know Bella. Even after what she's been through and how she reacted she would never sink that low. Besides didn't you notice how she screamed out in agony when he touched her or how she tried to squirm away from both of them?" She did have a point. "She's still our Bella. We just need to get her back and help her." She added quietly.

"We will get her back. She's going to be healing from now. She'll need us more than ever." Jasper said.

"She can do it. If anyone can get past this it's my Bella." Edward said. "My angel." I whispered kissing her lips softly then her forehead. She whimpered my name softly then went limp in my arms.

"Come on you're cars outside we can get her home." Alice said opening the door, I just nodded and carried Bella out to my car.

"Can you drive Rose's back?" I asked Alice.

"Yeah sure, I'll stay the night." She said taking the keys from me and getting into Rose's car before driving off with Jasper.

I carefully strapped Bella in the passenger seat of my Volvo and drove back home. Rose ran forward when I carried Bella in but I just shook my head and murmured 'tomorrow' to her. She nodded and left me to carry Bella upstairs to her bed. I wanted to but I couldn't stay with her. Not after that. I felt so hurt. So _destroyed_. I couldn't stay with her tonight, so I broke my promise to her and left her in her own bed while I went to mine. I didn't bother getting changed I just crashed down on the bed and let sleep overtake me hoping for some kind of escape from what happened today.

…

**Yep Edward got hurt pretty bad didn't he…**

**Jasper gets pretty protective of Bella, there's a clue you will need for way later on it's in the next chap I update on NLG so there you go.**

**Aren't you all happy with me I mean come on 3 updates in like 4hrs that's pretty good.**

**Make me happy n review…**

**xx**


	15. anger is a fierce friend

_~ XV ~_

No matter what I tried, my eyes just kept snapping open from the sight of my Bella in near to nothing on her gorgeous body and _their _hands on her. That soon turned into _his _hands and _his _mouth on hers. When I saw that, I bolted upright off the bed running into our conjoining bathroom leaning against the basin breathing hard. Never had I visioned such a horrific thing in my life. After what happened Friday night, I don't think I even want to know what he had done to her but in a way I need to.

Angry at myself, I splash the cold water over my face trying to calm down. Half an hour later, back in bed I find myself struggling to sleep yet again. Hours pass by where I tried to sleep but all I could see when I closed my eyes was Bella. A while after the sun rises I give up and was going to have a shower when I heard Bella throwing up violently.

Rushing in I see Bella cradling her body around the toilet barely able to hold her body up while she's ill. "Bella? Shit Bella! Are you ok?" I asked stupidly, running to her side and pulling her hair up out of the way.

"Well does she look ok Edward?" I heard Rose say. She must have heard when I slammed the door open. "Go, I'll look after her." She told me pushing me out of my place from next to Bella.

"But Rose.." I tried to argue but Emmett cut me off. Where the hell did he come from?

"Edward, listen to her man." Emmett said. Great, even Emmett was keeping me from Bella. I just wanted to help her.

"Fine I'll go." I huffed frustrated, walking out of there with Emmett following hot on my tail.

"Edward." I heard Emmett calling after me but I just kept walking down the stairs and out the front door. "Edward! OI EDWARD!" he shouted but I was already in my car and driving away. I just needed to get out of there before I punched someone.

I didn't know where I was planning on going I just kept driving, ignoring my phone that kept ringing non-stop. I noticed a car following behind me and knew who it would be. I pulled over to the clearing and jumped out of the car the same time Emmett did.

"Back off Emmett…" I practically growled.

"Edward stop!" He said grabbing hold of my shoulder trying to turn me around.

"Seriously Emmett BACK OFF!" I shouted in his face then did something I'd never done. I punched him in the face.

"Fuck…" Emmett cursed stepping back and adjusting his nose back in place. "You better now?" he asked after we both calmed down.

"Yeah… sorry." I apologized.

"Dude don't stress bout it. Damn you got a good punch." We both laughed at that. "Come on Edward. She'll come around. It'll work out. You'll see." Emmett said sincerely, hitting me on the back reassuringly.

"I'm just so angry with this whole FUCKED UP MESS!" I shouted the profanity which I rarely choose to use.

"Whoa did you seriously just swear? Wow. My prude of a little brother knows language other than that of a perfect momma's boy." My irritating brother commented. Seeing my glare he put his hands up as if to say 'easy, joking'. "Ok, ok. I get it. Come on we'll go get Jasper we need to find us some monkey suits. It's probably time we had a chat anyway. You calm enough to drive without being a maniac?"

I just nodded gruffly before jumping back in my car. Following Emmett to Jasper's, waiting impatiently while he ran inside to get the guy. Flashes of the images that were in my head this morning and last night made my anger rise again. Punching the steering wheel and screaming out my anger I didn't notice the guys walk back out til Jasper had literally pushed me out of my drivers' seat and across to the passengers'.

"Emmett's right you're in no shape to be driving this thing." He said seriously, ignoring my protests and simply turning my sound system on loud.

"Ew dude… this thing is choking my boys." Emmett groaned from his change room.

I heard Jasper laugh but I was still too pissed off to even laugh at Emmett's choice of words. We both stepped out of our change rooms to look in the main mirror set up to view the suits. To be honest I thought we looked hideous. Alice was great at fashion but this was a bit too… well the suits were pink pinstripes and reminded me of an ice cream man. When Emmett stepped out I couldn't help but crack up laughing along with Jasper. The suit was at least two sizes too small.

"Dudes shut up. This is a joke. Come on, Rosie would never choose this. Help me get a better one."

We agreed and went out to the racks looking for something better for us to wear. Damn I swear when I marry Bella it'll be on a beach and without these stupid 'monkey suits' as Emmett called them. Wait back up. Did I just say Bella and marry in the same sentence?

"Eddie boy! Get over here!" Emmett called out, getting my attention.

"How many times have I told you not to call me Eddie…" I trailed off when I saw what he was wearing.

Jasper was looking at him in shock as he proudly showed off the suit he found making him look smart but laid back. "Dude I swear you're turning into Alice." We laughed and agreed on buying them for the wedding.

"So, how's Bella this morning?" Jasper asked as I drove him back. My knuckles tightened on the wheel, not going unnoticed by him. "Give it time Edward. She's been through a lot, and I know what you're thinking. You want her to tell you, but man you have to think whatever it is she has been through, for her to not be able to say it out loud..." He took a deep breath before sighing. "You have two choices Edward." At this I turned my face towards him. "You either give up now, don't string her along and move on with your life forgetting all about her." WHAT? How could he even think I could forget her... "Now don't give me that look, I said you had two choices. The other option is to take a step back, let her heal as you say, then be there for her in whatever way you can." He made sense in what he was saying, even if I didn't like what he was saying.

Sighing I nodded as I pulled into his driveway dropping him off. He got out leaving me to my thoughts; I had a lot to think about.

"So are we good to head back now?" Emmett asked grinning at me through the passengers' window.

"Yeah we're good Em. I kind of just want to go talk to Bella." I told him. He just nodded his head and pulled away jumping into his Jeep before we headed back home. I didn't know how I still felt over this whole mess but I did know that I needed to talk to Bella.

**Ok so it's been a while, a long time really. A few personal issues happened and on top of that I haven't actually been able to replace the old laptop that died the end of last year until last week. Will be updating as much as I can to catch up for lost time. Sorry to all who might have been annoyed by my lack of updates, I understand your annoyance cause I hate having to wait ages for updates on stories I like too.**

**I'm not one of those writers that demand reviews before the next update so it's completely up to you if you wish to review. This story which is the other side of NLG is complete and NLG will be updated once I've got this one up to date with it. Those who also read 'Hush Little Bella' will be pleased to know that is second on my list to update. ALL STORIES ARE FINISHED, it is just a matter of getting the files onto new laptop and will take some time.**

**Again apologies for lack of updates.**


	16. the truth brings heartache

_~ XVI ~_

A week. A whole week. Seven days and I still haven't talked to Bella. I wanted to, god knows how much, it just seemed as though whenever I tried or even thought of talking to her she would turn around and run off. It was slowly killing me. Even being in the same room as her, she would never look me in the eye, I knew she could feel my stare on her. Did she not know how much she was killing me? I never knew I could experience pain such as this, the woman I was in love with refused to even acknowledge me. I missed her. I missed holding her at night in her bed, protecting her from those horrific nightmares. Every night when I heard her scream out I would run through our conjoining bathroom only to find she had locked her door, same with the one on the landing, she had locked me out. After the third night of trying to break the doors down I would find myself on the floor of our bathroom, my back against her door, my heart breaking as I listened to her screams and uncontrollable sobbing. If only she would let me back in.

Plans for Emmett and Rosalie's wedding were wrapping up as the date moved closer and closer. I don't know how the wedding is going to go with me being Emmett's best man and Bella being Rose's main bridesmaid, I wonder if Bella even realised that. Rose had come into my room two days ago informing me on the plans for the night before the wedding. Neither of them wanted a last night as being single so we were going to a sing bar Emmett knew of instead. I was tempted to ask how Bella was and I think she could tell cause she simply gave my shoulder a squeeze and a sympathetic smile as she got up to leave but not before telling me _"You'll know soon enough Edward. Just don't run away when you find out." _I had no idea what she meant by that but I guess I was about to find out.

Bella had asked for all of us to sit down so she could talk after dinner. I was sitting on the chair by myself across from Bella, she looked so tired and worn out. I wanted to comfort her but didn't see as it was my place anymore. I noticed how she looked to both Carlisle and Rosalie who gave her sympathetic smiles. What was that about? Did they know something? I didn't get time to think more on the matter however as Bella started talking.

"You all know that James had abused me when I was together with him." She started off, I already didn't like the sound of this conversation and when she said _his_ name I couldn't help but stiffen and yet I was curious as to what she would say. "Well there was more." What else could he have done to her! I felt my anger rise up again and had to push it back down to stay calm enough to hear what she had to say. I looked straight at her waiting for her to continue, not letting her see the emotions underneath the mask I had on.

"Well I had put up with James hitting and beating me for over a year and a half. I always pushed it aside and tried to hide it." Did she honestly just say OVER a year and a half? She just pushed it aside? What... "That obviously didn't work as Alice started to notice my bruises." I snapped my head towards my sister. She knew? My anger was getting harder to control by the second. "That night that I moved in here; I hadn't run away just because of James abusing me." Bella choked on a sob before taking a deep breath to calm herself enough to continue. My mind was running through what she could have gone through. God please no...

Rosalie moved from her spot next to Emmett to sit next to Bella, soothing her. "Tell them Bella. It'll be ok." Rose said as she tucked a strand of Bella's hair out of her face.

I almost couldn't hear what Bella said next, her voice barely a whisper, but what I heard made me want to kill that bastard. "James.. He.. He raped me."

The others gasped obviously not thinking it had gotten that far. I was seeing red though. How.. How could someone do that to her? And why didn't she tell me? I saw Emmett take Rose's place next to her. He looked as though he would be crying, my older brother who never cries was almost in tears. I could see now how close Bella was to him as a little sister and it was breaking my heart all over again seeing how close they were while she wouldn't even look at me anymore. "Bells. Why didn't you tell me? Tell us?" He asked her.

It was my father who answered though and again I was angry that someone knew and didn't tell me or at least hint to me. "She wasn't ready." Carlisle said. "She had been traumatised; did you honestly expect her to say it out straight away?"

"You knew?" I fumed.

"Yes, I knew. She came to me in confidence so of course I wasn't going to disrespect her wishes." My father said looking me dead in the eye, telling me to calm down.

I couldn't calm down though, turning towards Rosalie who I had helped when she went through this I snapped. "And I'm guessing by how close you are to her now Rose that you knew too?"

"Edward you know of my past. I already knew what had happened to Bella the first night she came here. I remembered. So don't you dare be mad that I found out before you, she didn't tell me until I confronted her that night that you and Emmett were fighting over her." Rose snapped back.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.." Bella started to say.

"Bella don't you dare say sorry." Alice cried, who had tears falling down her face. "I can't believe he did that to you. To someone so good and pure. And then that night at the club, I'm surprised at how far you've come after having that happen to you." She sobbed while Bella stood up and walked over to her giving her a hug.

"Alice please don't cry. I'm ok, I'm getting there. I'm healing." Bella told her but she locked eyes with me when she said that. What was I supposed to think by that?

"I know. I just hate that you had to go through that." Alice sobbed again.

I was lost in my own thoughts, disgusted over what that monster had done to my Bella, but no she wasn't _my _Bella, not anymore. That thought made me even angrier. The bastard was right. She wasn't mine. _He _had taken her from me. Ever since that night at the club... Oh god the club. He was going to hurt her again. He was going to rape her again. My anger couldn't be held back at myself anymore for putting her in that much danger. He could have...

"Edward." Rosalie said my name grabbing hold of my shoulders, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Edward breathe, she's alright, she's here. Don't do anything rash." I turned my head towards my soon to be sister in law. How did she know what I was thinking of doing? "You can see it all over your face Edward. You need to calm down. She needs you. Remember what I said. _Don't run away._" And with that she got up and walked back to where the rest of my family was sitting with Bella, saying how sorry they were and talking her through it. I couldn't bare to listen as she told us what he did to her and yet I stayed in my spot on the chair as I listened to what that monster did to her. It was disgusting, how she told us he restrained her with cable leads to the back of his truck. The images that were in my head wouldn't leave. I knew she had to do this though. It was her healing. She would get through this. I just didn't think I could. She would be able to start her new life now, only I don't think I could be in it. I could never put her in that sort of danger. I would never forgive myself for that night at the club after what she had been through. I thought knowing the truth would help me help her. But all it did was cause heartache as I turned my back on my family and my love, silently walking to my room without any of them realising I had left.

**Now you know Edwards side with more detail. The reason why Bella's POV was less detail was because when you are telling people something like that, you don't feel anything or remember much, it's cloudy and quick. The details come from the person you are telling and that is where you see the reactions.**


	17. night before wedding

The next few days passed in a blur, only leaving the confines of my, what used to be pristine room for one meal a day and even then I would just nod my head at my worried mother before grabbing the plate she offered me and retreating to my room once again. I didn't talk to anyone during my little phase, I had avoided seeing Bella at all costs, putting myself through the agony of hearing her screams every single night. I missed her, now that my phase of uncontrollable anger, which I had taken out on my room as it now looks as though a truck has driven through it, all I felt was my need to be with Bella again. The need to hold her safe in my arms, to protect her and love her was almost worse than the anger. It hurt. I love her so much, but I will not put her through that again. When you love someone so much, it goes against everything to put that person in danger, and that is exactly what I had done. I loved her, she didn't love me and so I won't be in her way. She needs her time to heal. Just not with me.

"Son..." My father knocked on my door, announcing his presence before entering. His face turned to one of shock when he saw the damage done to my room, but quickly turned to sympathy as he took in my form on the bed just staring at the ceiling. "Your mother would scream if she saw the state of this room son." He tried to laugh but seeing my lack of response he simply sighed. "You can't do this to yourself Edward. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it wasn't my place, she wasn't ready. It was the thought of losing you that made her come out and say what happened, do you know that? She's finally starting to heal Edward but it's a long road to go on alone. She needs you and you need her."

I had to stop him there, she didn't need me and I told him exactly that. "She doesn't need me. I love her but she doesn't love me. I put her in danger and I refuse to do that to her again. No wonder she ran from me..."

"Edward. Son she wasn't running from you. And what do you mean you put her in danger?" He asked me, sitting down on the bed next to me.

"The club..." I couldn't even think about it.

"Edward Cullen that was not your fault. You and your brother and Jasper saved her that night. I think we both know what would have happened if you hadn't have called out to your brothers to get to her in time." We both shuddered at the thought. "You are my son Edward. And I know you would never hurt her or put her in any form of danger. You need to stop thinking the way you are, get up and get dressed because it is your brothers' wedding tomorrow and if I'm not mistaken you six were going out tonight." Groaning I sat up, I had completely forgotten about tonight. I thought over my fathers' words and he was right in a way. He smiled reassuringly at me before leaving the room. "Oh and I would fix up your room before your mother comes in here and haves a heart attack." He said as I threw a sock at him closing the door laughing. I chuckled to myself slightly, raking my hand through my hair remember how Bella would always do it to tame my hair slightly. Bella. Bella...

"Ok, ok let me get in it first though geez Alice." I heard Bella laugh as her door to our conjoining bathroom closed. Leaning up against the door I heard her sigh before the shower started. Smiling to myself knowing that she was basically next to me I stepped away from the door gathering the items I had thrown on the floor in my rage placing them where they belonged. The shower turned off just as I was getting changed into the dress shirt and pants I was to wear tonight. I hurried to get ready so that I would be downstairs before Bella came down.

"Come on Bella, you got to let us see some time." I heard Alice say as I walked out of my room and down the stairs to where the other guys were talking waiting for their girls. I didn't have my girl yet but god knows how much I wanted her back. I didn't even get to take her on our date.

The guys smiled at me and we talked for a bit before Alice and Rosalie walked down the stairs followed by a worried looking Bella. She looked so beautiful in a strapless blue flowing dress that ended at her knees. Her hair was out and wavy just how I loved it. I couldn't take my eyes off her, it had been too long.

"Wow. Bella. You look beautiful." I managed to say somehow coherently. When she looked up at me and I saw her eyes properly for the first time in weeks I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself."She said blushing.

"Ok everyone group shot." Esme announced to the group. The two couples stood as they were together and I had to admit it hurt a little that I wasn't like that with Bella anymore. Hopefully I could change that fact soon. Maybe she'd talk to me tonight...

"Come on Bella, Edward. Get in the photo already." Jasper called over to us.

We both walked over and stood next to each other kind of awkwardly while Emmett and Rose where next to us, then Alice and Jasper. "Everyone couple poses." Alice said. Emmett kissed Rose sweetly; Jasper was looking down into Alice's eyes with love; that left me and Bella to be partnered up. I couldn't resist putting my arms around her delicate waist from behind resting my chin lightly on her shoulder. Bella turned her face towards mine slightly placing her hands over mine on her waist.

"Lovely." Esme murmured to herself. She took the photo and everyone went to leave except for us. I tilted my face closer to Bella's as she leaned in, it would be so easy to just kiss her right then and there. I was disappointed and a little sad though when Emmett caught our attention telling us we had to go. I let go of Bella and followed the others out to the cars. Bella was going with Alice and Jasper while I went with Rose and Emmett. It was almost like we were both third wheels.

We finally got there and headed for a table except for Emmett who dragged Bella with him off somewhere. Where were they going? I tried to follow after them but Alice grabbed hold of me telling me to sit down already.

They were back within a few minutes and my mouth wasn't listening to my brain as I asked where they went sounding pretty annoyed.

Emmett just laughed saying "Secret."

I sighed and said I was going to get drinks for us. I took a deep breath as I was walking back. We all just sat at the table drinking and talking when Bella said she needed some air.

I decided to take a chance at trying to talk to her. "I'll come with you if you want." But she didn't want me to.

I watched her walk away, sighing as I sat down. Rose gave me a sympathetic look where as Emmett was literally bouncing in his seat excited over something.

"Hey guys we have a very special performance here tonight. We have a beautiful young lady who's going to sing her heart out to a special guy out there in the audience. I'll just say you're a lucky guy man and don't let this one go." The dj announced over his microphone drawing everyone's attention to the front. There was someone on the little stage but the lights were out so I couldn't see who. "So here she is Miss Bella Swan singing 'Near To You by A Fine Frenzy', take it away girl." He finished just as a soft blue light came on the stage where my Bella was sitting on a stool, microphone in hand and the backing track started playing. She was going to sing? Wait the dj said it was to someone. Who was she singing to?

The crowd cheered and whistled as the music came on, Emmett shouting out 'Go Bella we love you girl'. She started to sing and looked straight at me.

'_He and I had something beautiful  
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last  
I loved him so but I let him go  
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back  
_

Oh god. Was she singing about James or me? Please don't let her love James. I couldn't stand to see her go back to him.

_Such pain as this  
shouldn't have to be experienced  
I'm still reeling from the loss,  
still a little bit delirious'  
_

She closed her eyes as she sang the emotional lyrics of the chorus. Her voice was so beautiful. She never ceased to amaze me.

___'Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you.  
_

This time she looked back to me and smiled that angelic smile of hers. I listened to the lyrics more carefully as they flowed out of her lips.

___You and I have something different  
and I'm enjoying it cautiously  
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard  
to get back to who I used to be  
_

She was singing to me. She chose this song to tell me...

_He's disappearing  
Fading subtly  
I'm so close to being yours  
Won't you stay with me  
Please  
_

She was moving forward. I didn't know what to think. I noticed the others were in awe, Alice and Rose having tears in their eyes even.

___Near to you, I am healing  
but it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
and you are wonderful  
it's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you.  
_

What did this mean? Did she... no she wouldn't I knew that much. And yet maybe she...

_I only know that I am  
Better where you are  
I only know that I am  
Better where you are  
I only know that I belong  
Where you are_

Bella clutched her hand to her chest, still not taking her eyes off of mine. It was so heartfelt the way she sang it actually hurt.  
_  
__Near to you, I am healing  
but it's taking so long  
though he's gone  
and you are wonderful  
it's hard to move on  
_

I couldn't think. All I knew was that she had opened up to me through this song. I still didn't know or understand... There was a battle going on in my head as I thought through everything.

_Near to you, I am healing  
but it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
and you are wonderful  
it's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you._

Yet, I'm better near to you.

The place erupted into cheers and screams as she finished but I couldn't bring myself to look up at her anymore. I heard the dj talking but didn't take any of it in, too lost in my own thoughts.

"Here she comes." Alice said giddily. "Oh my god Bella. That was amazing. I never knew you could sing that well." She beamed out.

"Yeah you were. Wow." Jasper was speechless as was I actually.

"Bells, that was beautiful. I never knew you had all that in you. I know why you chose that song now. I'm so proud of you baby sis." Emmett blubbered out.

"What did I tell you Bella? I think you've found your escape." Rose said. I know was next to say something.

"Bella..." I started to say, then was interrupted by the dj over the microphone.

"Well, well, well. Missy Bella it seems you have a fan club that would like you to sing an encore. Could we possibly get another song out of you before you run off tonight?" He asked over the crowd.

"Go on Bella, sing another song." Alice encouraged. Jasper pushed her forward back up to where the dj was.

She sang the song An Unseen Direction by the Morning Of, this time dedicated to Rose and Emmett who went crazy with their cheering even getting up on the stage to hug her at the end.

It was a good way to end the night for them, I still had a lot to think about but I pushed it aside to think about after the wedding. Tomorrow would be a long and hard day. As soon as we were back at the manor I crashed onto my bed, falling into a restless sleep with only Bella on my mind.

Waking up I only had one thought on my mind. _How the hell will I get through today?_


	18. my love loves me

_~ XVIII ~_

_How the hell will I get through today...? _Luckily I didn't have to worry on that thought for long as my older brother chose that moment to throw open my door, running in and jumping up and down on my bed like a two year old.

"I'm getting married... I'm getting married... I'm getting married..." He sang completely off key as he continued to jump on my bed effectively knocking me off the bed. Jasper came in laughing his head off at Emmett's antics.

"Dude you sure you're not the bride cause you sure as hell are acting like one." Jasper teased causing Emmett to stop jumping to glare at him before he full on tackled him to the ground. I couldn't help but laugh at the site of my 25yr old brother and 24yr old mate failing at wrestling across my floor.

"Come on you two break it up, break it up. We have to get out of here before the bride really does wake up." Bringing up Rose definitely got Emmett's attention and Jasper took his moment of distraction to push him face first to meet my floor before running out of the room.

"Four words for you Whitlock! Pay back is cruel!" And with Emmett's parting words we all left the confines of my room, me grabbing my bag on the way out as well as the suit, the others already having theirs downstairs waiting. Yelling out to Carlisle to hurry up we headed to the cars, loading everything in. The sun had just started to rise when Carlisle decided to join us finally and we were on our way to the dock nice and early. The girls weren't arriving til 8am and it was now 6:30am but Emmett had to talk with the captain first and it was our job to check all the cabins, assigning people their rooms.

Emmett and Rosalie obviously would be in the honeymoon suite which was on the third deck. The other two decks we split between guests and our families. There was just mine and Bella's rooms left to sort out, and somewhat conveniently only the top deck was left.

"Umm dad, Jasper... Maybe we should swap. You and mom have one room on the top deck while Jasper and Alice have the other." I suggested.

"Why would we do that?" Jasper said with a slight smirk on his face.

"It might be a little awkward for Bella if..."

"Nonsense son, the best man and main bridesmaid rooms are situated on the top deck so you can go about your duties for the wedding. It's not like you two have to share a room or anything, you'll simply be opposite each other." My father cut me off trying to show logic in the issue but he gave it away with the mischievous look he had in his eyes. The buggers set this up.

Taking a deep breath I took the board down to the dock where you board the boat, so that the guests can see where their rooms are on board as well as when they walk on to save confusion. "I'm blaming you two if anything goes wrong you do realise this." I told the two buggers when I got back on board, grabbing my bags and suit to take up to my room on the top deck, Bella and the girls would be arriving soon and I didn't want to risk running into her accidentally.

"Oh please don't son I don't want to hear I'm the reason for..."

"DAD" I shouted shocked that my own father was insinuating that. Jasper just laughed at my expense, high fiving Carlisle as I walked up the stairs to the top deck where mine and Bella's rooms were.

I had to admit the view was amazing. At the top of the stairs was an entire glass view window that you could look out and see the water, it would be amazing to see at sunrise or sunset and very romantic. That thought just made me sigh. There were two doors one on the right one on the left knowing that the one on the left was bigger and more elegant, I left it for Bella, instead choosing the one on the right which was still amazingly grand. I spent the next few hours unpacking my bags into the closet and ensuite. I heard when Bella came up and went into her room opposite at just after 9am. The wedding was at 1pm and reception carries on at 3pm so there would be that sunset view by 5pm Rose was desperate for. That gave us four hours to get ready, two of which I knew Bella had to help Rose get ready while I help Emmett with last minute things.

Getting changed into my suit I had a flash of myself getting ready only for my own wedding day. Quickly shaking that though out of my head I finished getting ready, making sure I had everything.

Walking out of the room I didn't think Bella would be ready and also on to her way to Rose, and yet there she was coming out of her room in front of me. I couldn't help my gasp as I looked at her beauty. "Oh my god" I breathed out, not thinking she would hear me. She spun around too fast in shock and almost fell back and hitting her head on the door but luckily I caught her in my arms in time. God I had forgotten what it felt like to hold her in my arms.

"Bella, are you ok?" I asked looking deep into her eyes which she had added a touch of blue to her eye shadow bringing out her eyes even more.

"More than ok" I don't know if she realised she had whispered that and I had heard it but it gave me hope.

"You look... um... God you look so beautiful." I had to tell her how utterly beautiful she was.

"Thankyou. You look pretty handsome yourself." She murmured quietly. I was going to say more but my phone went off. Emmett.

"Damn it." I muttered under my breath. "Sorry Bella, its Emmett. I'll see you down at the wedding I guess." I said gently, not wanting to leave.

"Yeah I better go to Rosie." She sighed as I moved my arms away from her delicate waist.

We both walked down the two sets of stairs before going in different directions, her to Alice and Jasper's suite where I knew Rose would be, myself going to my parents where my nervous brother was sitting on the bed with mom next to him while Jasper got him a drink from the mini bar.

"You alright there Em?" I asked my older brother whom just a few hours ago had been jumping on my bed excited. A complete contrast to what I was seeing now.

"He's a little nervous." Dad said walking back into the room, smiling at mom.

"You shouldn't be nervous mate. You're marrying Rosalie Hale, the girl you've loved since you first laid eyes on her. What could be better for you?" Jasper said trying to cheer him up a bit. He did smile a bit but you still see some uneasiness.

"I think he's worried he'll forget his vows." Mom told us all then resumed trying to fix Emmett's shirt collar.

"Bro." I said walking up to him; he looked up at me looking a little ashamed of himself. "Do you seriously think Rosalie wants a word for word exact copy of something pre-thought? That's not who you are Em and it's not the man she's in love with. What she will remember from this day is how you kept a smile on her face with your quick smart thinking. You won't know what you need to say until you're standing up there in front of your woman. Don't stress over this. Everything will be perfect I swear." I told him, thinking this is one of the deepest conversations I have ever had with my brother. Mom smiled proudly up at me and I knew it was a good thing I opened my mouth for once.

"Thanks Edward. I knew there was a reason why I picked you as my best man and not this cowboy next to you." Emmett joked finally coming back to his old self.

"Hey I resent that. I have never once ridden a horse." Jasper defended.

"But you've ridden something else, or should I say some_one_." We were all shocked that dad had said this. Emmett cracked up and slapped our father proudly on the back for coming up with something as gold as that. Mom took that as her cue to leave and left to go check on how things were going down on deck.

It took us a while to calm down and after a jimmy shot each from the mini bar we were right to head down to the deck to face any last minute issues and get Emmett married already. Everything was set and in no time at all, the guests were seated as the music started and we took our places up the front looking down the aisle as Alice skipped down. Yes she skipped down. It kind of took away from the moment but was forgotten as Bella walked down in her beautiful elegant royal blue dress. There were a few gasps from the guest and I wasn't surprised, she truly was radiant as she walked down and took her place next to me. I started to reach for her hand but quickly pulled it back thinking she wouldn't want that.

We both turned back to face where Rosalie was now walking down the aisle in a stunning pale pink bridal dress looking stunning, she truly was a perfect match for Emmett and both seemed to have only eyes for the other. She finally reached where Emmett was grinning madly, quickly handing her flowers to Bella, before turning back to Emmett as the captain started the ceremony. I have to say the ceremony was beautiful, and I was right Emmett didn't need to worry about his vows when it came to the time they were perfect for him and Rose. Rose even cracked a laugh at some things he said.

As I looked on at my brother and Rose I couldn't help but picture the same scene occurring between me and Bella. I loved her so much and I knew that I would only ever want to marry her. I snapped out of my thoughts just as the captain pronounced them husband and wife as Emmett swept Rose off her feet into a passionate kiss earning quite a few cheers, even one from the captain. I noticed Bella wasn't paying attention to the couple and gently nudged her telling her what was going on around her. I looked at her confused asking silently where she had gone off to but she just started cheering along with anyone else. Shaking it off we followed after Emmett and Rose as first they signed the registry then we did as the witnesses. Following them down the aisle with Bella on my arm we went around to the southern end of the boat where the reception was to be held. Posing for a few photo's was bearable and luckily the photographer didn't drag it along as Emmett was saying how hungry he was, causing all of us to laugh and Rose to give him a soft kiss. The rest of the guests followed soon after and it seemed as if Bella was distracted by something again, like she was looking for someone. She didn't bring a date did she? No. Don't be stupid Edward.

All the bridal party was sitting at one table along with Esme and Carlisle, as well as Rose's parents. I sat opposite Bella of course and I could see her sneaking glances at me every so often, not that I could talk I was doing the exact same thing to her. The food went quickly and once the cake was cut Alice went up and announced that it would be the bride and grooms first dance soon and for everyone to stay seated. I was looking forward to seeing my brother attempt to dance the bridal waltz but then again knowing my brother and Rose they probably didn't stick with the traditional dance.

"No way." I heard Bella breathe. "It can't be." She muttered to herself.

"What is it Bella?" Jasper asked. Drawing my attention completely as I looked up to see what she was talking about. "Do you see someone or something?" Jasper said but she was already out of her seat running over to where a woman in a bright pink dress was standing talking to other guests. What was Bella doing? Confused by her behaviour I stood up to follow only to be stopped by Jasper.

The woman turned around to face Bella and then they were both squealing like teenage girls, drawing the attention of everyone around them. Rose looked over confused as well as she was talking to a few of Emmett's mate's at the time. I watched on as Bella and the woman started talking excitedly about things I couldn't hear when Alice announced it was time for the bride and groom to have their first dance and that everyone needed to gather around.

We all stood around the dance area on the deck in a circle as the happy couple danced to Michael Bublé Everything. It definitely wasn't the traditional bridal waltz but they still danced graciously across the dance floor, and I never thought I would be calling my brother a gracious dancer but he proved me wrong. AAs the music came to an end and Emmett spun Rose back into his arms ending perfectly with a kiss the guests all cheered on and applauded the happy newlyweds. I was starting to head back to the table when Jasper grabbed onto my shoulders as Alice announced a nice little surprise I wasn't prepared for.

"Ok, now we have a special performance by the bride and groom for our best man and main bridesmaids one-on-one dance. Don't worry the rest of you will be able to dance after this, but for now just sit back and watch these two. Oh and also I've been told the bar is now open." Alice announced over the microphone, Jasper smirked down at me and literally spun me around before pushing me out onto the dance floor where I saw the woman was also pushing Bella out to.

I smiled softly at her but Bella just turned away and my heart dropped. She didn't even want to dance with me. I took a step back but Jasper pushed me back out as Emmett and Rose took their place on the little stage. People gave a small applause as the band started playing. Hearing the instrumental beginning of the song I used to sing to Bella only editing with my own wording, I sighed. Walking out into the middle of the dance area I left it up to her whether she wanted to walk away or not, because I wasn't going anywhere. The woman pushed Bella again and I saw her sigh as she made her way to where I was standing just as Rose started to sing.

_(Rose) She spins and she sways to whatever song plays,  
Without a care in the world.  
And I'm sittin' here wearin' the weight of the world on my shoulders._

I can't help but smile slightly when she finally reaches me. But the words that come out of her mouth next make me lose hope again.

"Edward you don't have to dance with me if you don't want to." She said sounding sad. Was it really so bad that she wouldn't even dance with me?

"Bella, all I want to do is dance and hold you. Please?" I pleaded softly, not caring if I sounded desperate.

_(Emmett) It's been a long day and there's still work to do,  
She's pulling at me saying Babe I need you!  
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited and I need to practice my dancin'_

She slowly took my hand, placing her other on my shoulder as I wrapped mine firmly around her waist, drawing her in closer to me so that our bodies were touching_._

_(Emmett) Oh please, angel, please!_

I inwardly smiled as I took in that they were singing my version of the song to Bella and not the original; that would have been a little bit awkward. As the first chorus sounded we started dancing around the floor gracefully. I didn't care who was watching on, my eyes could only see Bella here in my arms.

_(Emmett) So I'll dance with Cinderella  
While she is here in my arms  
(Rose)'Cause I know something the prince never knew  
(Emmett) Oh I'll dance with Cinderella  
I don't wanna miss even one song,  
(Rose) Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight  
And she'll be gone_

I decided to take a chance. "Bella, what's happened between us? You avoid me and barely say a word to me." I stated more than asked because we both knew it was true.

_(Rose) She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed  
She wants to know if I approve of the dress  
(Emmett) She says Babe, the prom is just one week away,  
And I need to practice my dancin'_

Continuing to dance around the floor I couldn't help but ask. "Did I do something? I don't know what to think. All I think about is you but I don't know if you feel the same way anymore. It's killing me."__

(Emmett) Oh please, angel, please!

"Edward I avoided you because while I was healing you seemed so distant. You stopped telling me you loved me so I thought you didn't anymore. That you didn't want me." She finally admitted. Wait she thought I didn't love her anymore?  
_  
(Rose) So I'll dance with Cinderella  
While she is here in my arms  
'Cause I know something the prince never knew_

"Every time I tried to talk to you I had to run to hide my tears. I love you but you don't love me anymore. I couldn't handle that. The pain was too much." She was in pain? My heart broke a little more knowing I had caused my angel pain.

_(Emmett) Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I'll dance with Cinderella  
I don't wanna miss even one song, _

I had to tell her. "You think I don't love you anymore? Bella, I could never stop loving you even if I tried."

_(Rose) Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight _

I started to spin us around in our dancing as her face turned to one of shock.

"You still love me?" She seriously asked. She didn't need to ask.

_(Rose) And she'll be gone_

"Bella I never stopped." I admitted.

I was shocked by what she said next. "I love you too." And with that she reached up and kissed me. She kissed me.

_(Emmett) She will be gone._

I was shocked but then returned the kiss whole heartedly. It wasn't like the other kisses we had shared previously. We were gentle but desperate, passionate for each other showing our love not through dominance but through just feeling.

_(Emmett) Well, she came home today  
I put a ring on her hand  
Just glowin' and tellin' her all I had planned  
She says Babe, the wedding's still six months away  
but I need to practice my dancin'_

Emmett sang our favorite part of the song and I couldn't help but tighten my arms around her as I stopped our dancing completely and simply lifted her off the ground.

_(Emmett) Oh please, angel please!_

Forgetting about dancing and the guests now cheering us on and whistling I continued to kiss my angel as Emmett and Rose sang the last chorus of our song. I couldn't contain my joy or love towards the angel in my arms as I kissed her again holding on tight as I spun us around feeling her smile against my lips.  
_  
(Emmett)So I'll dance with Cinderella  
While she is here in my arms  
(Rose) 'Cause I know something the prince never knew  
(Emmett) Ohh-oh ohh-oh, I'll dance with Cinderella  
I don't wanna miss even one song, _

Rose ended the song beautifully as I stayed in my own little moment with my Bella.  
_  
(Rose) Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight _

_And she'll…_

_Be… _

_gone_

As Rose finished singing, Emmett being Emmett started laughing and made one of his own comments. "Believe me people, after that dance I doubt Bella will be gone!"And he was right. I was never letting her go.

"Give it up for Edward and Bella everyone!" Rose shouted.

We had to break apart as everyone cheered and clapped us on. I smiled my crooked smile as Bella blushed from the attention we had gained from out little display. She smiled back at me kissing me sweetly again.

"I love you Edward Cullen." I still couldn't get over whenever she said that.

"I love you Bella Swan." I told her staring deep into her eyes. I loved her so much. I needed to show her how much. It wasn't a want anymore it was a need. I kissed her softly before pulling her away from the dance floor.

"Give it up for the bride and groom singing, and Edward and Bella dancing." We heard Alice say over the cheers of the guests. "Bye Bella. Bye Edward." She shouted after us. I couldn't keep the grin off my face.

Everyone cheered and laughed at that. "Now back to the couple of the evening." Alice's voice faded away as I couldn't hold back anymore and ran pulling Bella with me away from the reception and towards our rooms on the top deck. I'd have to thank my father and Jasper later. I guess they were right.

"Edward." Bella giggled when I pulled her eagerly into my suite closing the door and locking it after us. I chuckled softly when Bella literally sprang at me before kissing me heatedly.

"Bella..." I moaned quite loudly. She pulled back with the biggest smile on her face. She was literally glowing she was so beautiful, so radiant. "Bella are you sure?" I had to ask. If she didn't want this then I would wait no matter how long or how painful it would be to.

I guess she needs this too. Her lips came down on mine hard as she tugged at my shirt. "Edward, I love you. I want this. I want you." She told me, the truth of her words shining from her eyes.

I carefully carried my love over to the large bed, placing her down carefully on top of the bed spread. "I love you so much Bella. I'm never letting you go." I told her honestly. It was true. I would never let go.

Leaning back she looked up at me with love shining from her eyes. "I love you Bella. I want to prove it to you and show you exactly how much." I whispered before kissing her passionately as I planned to do exactly that.


	19. First night with my angel

_~ XI__X ~_

"_I love you Bella. I want to prove it to you and show you exactly how much."_ I told her quietly before bringing my mouth to hers, kissing her sweetly yet passionately trying to show my love and desire for her in the way I kissed her. What started as a sweet kiss soon turned needy and desperate as our desire for one another fell into a spiral that was quickly becoming out of control. It was almost as if she needed me as much as I needed her, loved me as much as I loved her…

"Edward." Hearing my angel moan my name almost made me lose control and it took a lot of effort to maintain the control to take this slow and prove to her how deep my love for her ran. I didn't want this to be like any other time she had been with another; I didn't want to be compared to any other man, especially James. I needed to prove to her that I was different and that I could never hurt her, I loved her too much to even think of causing harm to her beautiful soul.

Kissing her once more I pulled away slightly so I could take off my shirt, one button at a time. I could see in her eyes that my slow pace was driving her crazy but I wanted this to go on as long as possible. Sensing her need I threw the useless shirt away from us over the edge of the bed somewhere as her eyes raked in my bare chest which was now all hers just like every other part of my body. Reaching for the zipper on my suit pants I was confused when her small hand stopped mine. I looked into her eyes but there was no hesitancy in them as I felt her hands slide the zip down over my erection continuing to push my pants down and off. I couldn't contain my moan as my eyes rolled back into my head as my angels hands touched me there, she must have known what she was doing to me.

She teasingly played with the waistband of my boxers as my control started to slip. I breathed out her name and she simply looked up at me innocently with a slight smile on her face, I couldn't hold back as I leaned down to her face and kissed her. Reaching an arm around her waist to lift her up as my other hand went underneath her beautiful dress and pulled it up over her head carefully letting it fall to the floor beside the bed, I wanted to see her in that dress again.

Looking down at her choice of lingerie my breathing hitched as I took in her pale body in a striking midnight blue satin and lace corset and what looked to be a g-string. God she was killing me and I hadn't even seen her fully naked yet. I was so distracted as I took in her beauty I must have been taking too long as Bella pulled me in for another heated kiss bringing me back to what we were doing.

As much as I loved her heels she was wearing, I didn't want this to be a fuck where all I could think about was how sexy she looked in just them, I wanted to worship every inch of her. And that's exactly what I planned on doing as I slipped the heels off her feet and pulled my attention back up to her sinful lingerie. Teasing her with the edge of the g-string like she did with my boxers, I wordlessly asked her permission to remove the flimsy piece of satin and lace. Her kiss was the only answer I needed as I pulled it down her legs where she kicked it aside off the bed. Deepening the kiss I felt as she used her feet to push my boxers down with my help and they too went off the bed onto the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing all that was left was her corset. I was about to start undoing the clasps when Bella flipped us over, resulting in her straddling me looking like the evil seductress she was as she unpinned her hair letting her curls fall down over her shoulders, she looked like a goddess. She was mine.

"You are so beautiful." I couldn't resist saying as I moved my mouth to kiss her neck softly while undoing the clasps and zipper of the corset. I couldn't hold back my eagerness as I unfastened the final clasp and discarded of her corset throwing it onto the floor, the last piece of clothing separating us as I took in her beauty. I didn't think I could hold in my desire anymore and welcomed Bella's kiss as she positioned herself above my erection sliding down my length torturously slow but this way we could both feel every single inch as I continued going deeper and deeper into her warmth.

"I love you." Bella whispered, starting to move above me, rocking gently she set our starting pace which I was more than willing to let her set while I kissed every part of her I could reach before taking her eager lips with my own. Grabbing hold of her hips tightly I rolled us over gently so as not to startle her as I took control on top looking down at my angel.

Knowing of her past in the back of my mind, I made sure to draw our moment together out passionately, proving to her that I was different, that I worshipped her body heart and soul, proving my love to her. Looking down into her eyes I saw her love shining brightly and I knew I would never need or want anything in my life more than the angel I now held in my arms as I thrust deep inside her, her moans and cries was the only sound I was hearing. If I could hear my love like this every night I would die a happy man.

There were no words that could express how good it felt to feel Bella like this. Holding up her precious body tight against my own as she clung onto my shoulders as if she were afraid to let go of me, her legs around my waist as I knelt up thrusting deep into her, our lips connected quieting her cries of passion as I hit a spot inside her causing her to hold on to me even tighter. I was struggling to maintain the slow gentle rhythm we had set as I felt Bella tighten around me, somehow drawing me in even deeper. I had never felt so connected to anyone as much as I felt I was with Bella right in this moment. I had to pull away from her mouth as I grunted, picking up our pace to find our releases we so desperately needed, gripping onto her firmly as my thrusts became harder and more fierce. Bella's whimper as I found that one spot deep inside her again pushed me to continue thrusting into her right at that angle over and over again, her mouth attacking mine desperately again, her nails digging into my back as she dragged them down ever so slowly causing me to moan louder than I already was. I couldn't hold on much longer as we continued our movements in getting each other to our highest peaks.

"Bella…" I struggled to moan out coherently, though Bella seemed to be facing the same problem.

"I know Edward… Me too…" She breathed into the crevice of my neck. I felt her teeth gently scrape where her mouth was on my neck and it only propelled my thrusts to go harder causing her to scream out in pleasure I couldn't help but grin slightly at making her scream. Our pace quickened even more as we neared that edge dangerously close, there was just one more thing we needed to push us over. Bella drew her mouth up my neck across my jaw to my panting mouth where our tongues met eagerly. She fiercely rolled her hips around and the sensation of our hip bones touching causing me to go even deeper was our undoing. I only just heard Bella scream out my name over my own shout out of hers, but we didn't stop. I continued the slow gentle rocking we had started off with as we came down from our highs, kissing each other weakly yet still lovingly, neither of us wanting to pull away from the other.

Staying inside her I smiled lovingly at her giving a chaste kiss as I brushed her hair out of her face. "I love you Edward." She said nuzzling into my neck.

I couldn't contain my grin as I heard those words come out of her mouth. "I love you Bella."

I wasn't willing to remove myself from inside my Bella yet and it seemed neither was she as I felt her become wet again and myself start to twitch and become hard inside her yet again. Bella gave me a quick chaste kiss as she played with my hair and had a mischievous look in her eyes.

"Edward?" It sounded as though she had purred my name and it turned me on even more.

"Yes angel…" I asked smiling my crooked smile at her that she loves so much.

"You want to take a shower with me?" She asked looking into my eyes. There were no words to describe how she looked when she asked me that and I felt myself harden even more. Hearing Bella gasp then moan at the feel of me definitely boosted my confidence level.

"Bella" I moaned before she kissed me teasingly and I withdrew from inside her, pulling away I stood up only to lift her into my arms bridal style, walking us into my bathroom to the shower. I placed her on her feet turning away to turn on the warm water so that we wouldn't freeze, I felt when she pressed herself up against me. Her lips kissed my neck, sucking at my weak spot just below my left ear, which I didn't know she knew about; I groaned out load and felt her lips turn up into smirk against my skin.

I spun us around pinning her up against the wall; she smiled innocently at me as she trailed her hands up and down my chest. Leaning down, bending my knees so that I would be at the right angle, I kissed her neck as I quickly pushed forward entering her warmth for the second time. Bella gasped like she did when I first entered her before and I couldn't help but smile at her response to the sensation of me being inside of her. She rolled her hips into mine so I could get deeper and I had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

We continued long into the early morning like this. After our shower Bella still thought we weren't clean enough and so we moved into the spa which again we didn't get very clean seeing as she had sat down sinking my length inside of her as she leaned back into my chest. We tried to dry each other off but our hands had a mind of their own and I soon found myself pressing Bella up against the wall as I failed to make it back to the bed. Then we had fallen onto the lounge which surprisingly didn't break by the end of it. Finally we made it to the bed only to make love three more times, changing positions. The sun was just starting to rise now and I was tempted to take Bella out to our staircase where I knew it would be beautiful, but I was selfish and didn't want to move from our current position. Pulling Bella closer to my chest I heard her try to say she loved me, snuggling into my chest I couldn't think of a more perfect first night we could have had. I had no idea where our stamina had come from but I definitely wasn't complaining. With my angel in my arms I closed my eyes after pressing a kiss to her forehead, drifting off into a much needed sleep knowing that we were ok. I had my Bella, my angel.

**I am still trying to get my files onto the new laptop. It takes a while and so that is why CLG is being updated a lot because I don't have the other files on here yet. Hopefully I can get the rest of the stories updated by the end of the week. Hope you are liking seeing all of this from Edwards POV, little different seeing things from his side isn't it… More to come soon.**


	20. Waking up with her in my arms

_~ XX ~_

Waking up with my angel in my arms once again was something I knew I couldn't live without now that I'd been reconnected with. Looking down at my Bella I saw she was still asleep and resting after our late night activities. Just thinking of the fact that I had finally been with Bella, put a massive grin on my face. It seemed as if Bella was thinking along the same lines as I noticed how she was trying to rub her legs together only to have my leg stuck between them. I had to admit the friction she was creating was making it very difficult to not let my mind go down that road, but when she started moaning softly I knew I had no chance.

I felt something soft and wet press lightly to my chest and sure enough looking down Bella was kissing her way across my uncovered chest, only she was still asleep! Bella was having a dream, a very interesting one at that, about me. I couldn't contain my groan then. I was worried that I had woken her up when I felt her stop kissing my chest and moving her legs against mine. Gently moving her hair out of the way so I could see her face I saw that she actually fallen back into a deep sleep. How the hell did she do that..? God she was just as much a tease in her sleep as she was when she was conscious. Thinking back to that very first morning I had woken up with her in my arms, the little 'fall' she had which ended up with her hand in a certain place. Quickly shaking that memory out of my head before I could think of where her hands had been last night, I took a deep breath to calm myself so as not to spook her when she woke up.

It seemed as though Bella chose that exact moment to wake up as she sighed smiling slightly, tightening her arms which were clinging on to me where she lay across my chest. Smiling to myself I tightened my hold around her small delicate waist imagining it rounder as she carried my child within her… Whoa stop that thought right there Cullen, too fast way too fast. Taking a breath I started drawing small gentle circles on her exposed lower back as I kissed the top of her now messed up hair gently before her forehead, then the tip of her nose, trailing soft kisses down her cheek until I reached the corner of her mouth. Teasing her slightly I breathed her in deeply, letting my breath out across her parted lips before she leaned into me more kissing me passionately. Smiling against her lips when we pulled apart I gave her lips a quick chaste kiss, then a few more.

"Best. Wake up. Every" I said between kisses. God I was turning into a love sick dog or something, then again hearing her next words made it all worth it.

"Did I tell you how much I love you?" Bella mumbled as she snuggled in closer to my chest, her hand drawing random patterns over my abs.

"Maybe a few times" I said grinning madly. "Did I prove that I love you, clearly enough my angel?" I asked dead seriously.

"Definitely" Bella mumbled into my chest, still somewhat asleep. "I'm pretty sure I heard you say it once or twice, but you mainly showed me." She said looking up at me through her long lashes. I couldn't take it anymore when she kissed my chest again. I let out a loud moan before pulling her up higher so that I wouldn't have to lean down and kissed her.

"I love you." Kiss. "I love you." Kiss. "I love you." Kiss. "I…" I started only to be cut off by Bella's mouth attacking my own.

"I believe you." Kiss. "And I love you." Every time she says those words I just want to ravish her. Maybe no one would notice if we just didn't leave our deck for the next few days. Though that thought went out the window when Bella's stomach made itself known causing us both to laugh.

"Breakfast..?" I suggested.

"I think it's more like lunch but sure." Bella joked starting to get up, only to fall back down. It was almost like déjà vu for a second before the worry started to hit when I noticed Bella swaying.

"Whoa light headed." She said gripping on to me.

"Well I guess I better carry you then." I couldn't help but tease as I lifted her up effortlessly into my arms bridal style and carried her towards the door.

I was about to turn the handle when Bella suddenly noticed our lack of clothing. "Edward clothes!" I just laughed as I carried her over to the wardrobe, placing her carefully on her feet while giving her a quick kiss. Seeing a blue silk robe in the wardrobe that definitely wasn't there before, I passed it to Bella for her to put on while I just stuck with a white t-shirt and simple jeans.

Walking across to Bella's suite she headed straight for her own wardrobe, discarding the robe along the way and I found myself having to hold onto the wall I was leaning against to stop myself from attacking her. I watched as Bella picked out what had to be the most revealing bikini I had ever seen and what made it worse was it was in my favorite color, I swear this woman was trying to kill me. I was grateful when she put on a wrap-around royal blue dress over the top of the bikini, though I still found myself having to grip onto the wall as I took in her form.

"Ok, I'm decent." Bella said playfully. She was anything but.

I smiled at her as I walked closer to her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she placed her arms around my neck. "You, my angel, look anything but decent." I told her kissing her forehead. "Do you have any idea how tempting you look?"

"I think I have a pretty good idea. I can feel it." She teased back.

"The things you do to me Bella. You are so beautiful. I love you so much." I told her honestly while subtly rubbing my erection up against her. Maybe I could convince her to stay in this room all day, only with less clothing involved. Leaning my face down closer to her level, I kissed her lips chastely at first then more fiercely and passionate, I tried to move us back into her suite towards her unused bed that I thought we could put to good use. I smirked slightly when I heard Bella's moan but then she pulled away.

"Edward if you keep doing that to me, we'll never leave this room." She struggled to tell me as she continued to kiss me a few times.

"I don't see anything wrong with us staying right here for the rest of the cruise." I smirked kissing her back just as much. I thought I had won when she kissed me back again, but then she pushed against my chest and I could never force her so of course I pulled away.

"I don't want to leave this room either, believe me. But if we don't show our faces down on the deck sometime soon, someone will come up here to check on us and I don't really want anyone to walk in on us at out best." She said pushing me back towards the door. She did have a point there. I sighed defeated and allowed Bella to pull me out the door and down the stairs to the main deck where the pool was.

I saw Alice and Jasper sitting by the pools edge as well as a few other guests "It's about time you two showed your faces." My pesky older sister commented. Jasper smirked knowingly at me and I just grinned back.

"Edward you don't mind if I take a dip, do you?" Bella suddenly asked me. But I was confused by what she whispered in my ear next. "Come join me after you get over this next part." What was she up to?

Dropping my hand, Bella turned away from me only to look back over her shoulder at me as she seductively began to strip off her dress. Never taking her eyes off of mine she slowly unwrapped it from around her body before letting it fall to the deck, leaving me slack jawed as I took in what she had just done. I was still in shock as she ran forward diving into the pool then coming up from under the water she looked me over before splashing water at me. Oh she was in for it. Not bothering to take off my own clothes I ran and jumped fully clothed into the pool. Reaching Bella in no time I pulled her in for a heated kiss. Wrapping her legs tight around my waist Bella pulled herself even closer to me as my mouth attacked hers, not caring that my clothes were drenched and heavy on me now..

"Get a room guys." Jasper yelled out to us. My sister just laughed at our display, slapping Jasper playfully.

"Sounds like a good idea." Bella said when she pulled away.

"What about breakfast?" I asked playfully.

"Screw breakfast." Bella sighed throwing her arms around my neck as she kissed me again. Well I had no problem with that at all.


	21. Road side stop

**Short lemon filler chapter.**

_~ XXI ~_

For the rest of the cruise Bella never left my side, she introduced me to the woman who had been in the pink dress at the wedding ceremony, Stephii. God that was one conversation I would never forget. My favorite part of the days was when we would finally turn in and move into Bella's suite, she was paranoid of someone catching us walking between rooms naked so we agreed to spend nights in her suite and days in mine. But it wasn't the fact that I got to have sex with Bella, it was being able to hold her again while she slept, I hadn't realized how much I had missed the simple gesture and now it was my second favorite thing to do with Bella.

It has now been four days since the wedding, after getting off the boat and saying goodbye to Emmett and Rose as they left for their honeymoon, we were finally going home and getting back to normal everyday life. I had my new job, thanks to dad, starting up for me next week so I guess it would be good to start putting in a bit of normalcy into mine and Bella's relationship. Our sex life was almost as if we were newly mated animals I swear, with our stamina and libido's working overdrive only to still want more. I admit I loved the sex, but was a bit shocked at our new found appetite. I hope Bella lets me take her on a date and doesn't just want the sex part in our new relationship.

I decided to ask her now as we drove back to the manor. "Bella..?" She must have been thinking about something because she seemed to jump when she heard my voice.

"Edward…" She started to say, looking over at her I saw that she had her bottom lip in between her teeth with a mischievous look in her eyes. "You know there was something I've always wanted to try with you?" She led on seductively.

I was curious now, and as I looked her over I couldn't control my thoughts and what I hoped she meant. "And what was that angel?" I asked giving her another once over, my eyes lingering on her exposed legs as I watched Bella's hand purposely inch the skirt up higher on her thighs. I couldn't take my eyes off her newly exposed skin and didn't notice when she moved her hand to my own thigh until she was undoing the zipper of my pants.

"Bella…Wha… What are you doing?" I struggled to ask embarrassingly even though I knew exactly what she was doing as her hands sneaked their way inside my pants and pulled my boxers down slightly.

"I'm not doing anything Edward. What are you talking about?" She said way too innocently, her eyes having that teasing look in them.

I knew what she was doing and knew that I should make her stop but god when I felt Bella take me into her mouth. I was unable to just sit still while she continued to go down on me, while I was driving, and ended up thrusting unintentionally into her hot mouth not bothering to hold in my groan.

"Bella, angel…" I moaned when she _hummed_ with me in her mouth. The sensation of the vibrations as well as Bella moving her mouth torturously up and down my length using her teeth not just her tongue was driving me insane. "Oh. God… Bella" I stuttered out. Chancing a look down at my Bella was a bad idea as I had to tighten my grip on the steering wheel and struggled to keep us on the road. I couldn't take anymore when she started humming again. Breathing out her name I rushed to pull the car over to a side road, only going in 100metres before shutting the car off.

Quickly undoing my seat belt and reaching down to where Bella was still attempting to suck me off, I grabbed hold of her arms pulling her body over so that she was straddling me more comfortably while kissing her eagerly. I smirked when she moaned as I moved my kisses to her neck when we needed to breathe.

"Were you trying to distract me so we ran off the road Bella?" I asked, continuing to kiss my way down her neck to her pulse point where I bit and sucked the sensitive skin, knowing her weakness was that spot.

"I told you there was something I wanted to try with you." Bella said when I moved my lips back to hers.

"And what exactly was that? To have sex in my car..?" I joked.

"Exactly that... Right now" Bella said in all seriousness and my eyes widened in shock. Bella taking advantage of my state brought her mouth back to mine as she started grinding up against me. Moaning into Bella's mouth I pulled her skirt up higher grabbing onto her hips as she continued to roll them over my erection. I growled slightly when she bit down softly on my tongue while I pulled down her panties, positioning her hips at the right angle above me as she slid down me gasping at the feeling of me being so deep inside her. Teasingly Bella started rolling her hips around again, driving me crazy with her movements I had to hold onto her hips tighter as I thrust up to meet her rotating hips. God it felt good.

I thought it was going to be our first quickie, but I don't think we even know how to have a quickie with each other, we always wanted more. I wasn't complaining that's for sure. Our movements varied from slow and sensual to hard and fierce as our moans were the only sounds in the little space of my car. I could see the windows were fogged over and both of us were flushed as we kept going, getting closer and closer to our peaks with each passing minute. Panting pressed my forehead to Bella's as her body weakened and needed my help in lifting her hips up and down on my shaft, her whimpers telling me she was close and our thrusts quickened in attempt to finish.

"Edward… I… I'm gonna..." Bella struggled to get out just as I thrust in deep, hitting her one spot again and again, causing her to reach her orgasm screaming out my name. That was all I needed to follow straight after with my own. As we calmed down I continued rocking into her slowly, just wrapping my head around what just happened I couldn't help but kiss my angel.

"You. Are. So. Amazing." I said between kisses, hugging her close to my chest as our breathing returned to normal before Bella climbed off my lap, carefully moving herself back into her own seat.

"Let's go finish this off in our room." She said when I placed my hand on her thigh. At least I knew I wasn't the only one who seemed to be insatiable, as all I could think of was christening our beds back at the manor. Quickly turning the car back on I shifted it in to gear, spinning us back onto the main road and speeding down the road towards the manor.

All I could think was, this woman was made for me. As corny as it sounds it must be true. And I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. Even though I knew we had to take our relationship one step at a time, I couldn't help but hope they'll be big steps.

**Next Chap up in a few hours.**


	22. She wants what I want

_~ XXII ~_

I know that I wanted and needed to talk to Bella seriously about what we wanted, but right now thanks to her all I wanted and needed was to be inside her. I was currently speeding down the main road back towards the manor, driving well over the speed limit which apparently still wasn't fast enough for Bella's liking as she told me to go faster, grabbing hold of my hand and inching it further up her thigh where it was placed. Making a sound that sounded a lot like a growl I pushed the car to go that extra bit faster as I turned sharply into the dirt road that led up to the manor. Screeching to a stop just in front of the steps I noticed no one else was home and thought we could put this time alone to good use.

Jumping out of my side I ran around to Bella's side of the car, pulling her out of her seat and into my arms causing her to squeal my name. Carrying her up into the house I raced us up to my room kicking the door closed behind us as I attacked her mouth.

"Someone's eager." Bella giggled, teasing me between our kisses as I placed her feet back down on the ground.

"You bet I'm fucking eager." I growled, of course I was eager when this seductress was all mine...

"Come and get me tiger." Bella said in a seductive tone, backing up to the bed where she sprawled herself out in the centre looking seductive and vulnerable at the same time. I just wanted to take her, make her mine in a very ungentlemanly manner. Growling playfully at her again I rushed over and literally jumped onto the bed, landing on top of her as I pressed my lips to hers hungrily almost devouring her.

Feeling Bella reach up to take off my shirt an idea came to me and I stopped her, grasping tightly onto her wrists restraining them above her head as I leaned down, lowering us both further down onto the bed.

"No angel. This is all about you." I told her as I took my own shirt off before sliding her skirt and panties down off her. I smirked hearing Bella's gasp when I pushed two fingers inside her.

"Edward don't you _dare_ tease me. I can tease back." She said fiercely, I guess the kitty was coming out to play. Bella grabbed onto my shoulders, pulling me down to kiss her as she flipped us over resulting in Bella now straddling my waist undoing the zipper of her halter-top. My lust for her grew when I saw that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath. She really was an evil seductress, and I told her exactly that, kissing her eagerly.

"I aim to please." She said pulling my pants off and I realized that she was now the one taking control.

"Bella I wanted this to be about you." I attempted to say only it came out as a long loud moan when I felt Bella rolling her hips above my erection.

"Edward you've made the last four days about me. Right now I want to prove to you that I can handle it. You don't always have to be gentle with me. I want you to…" Bella started to groan out, she wanted what I wanted, I couldn't help but cut her off with my lips in my excitement.

"You want me to what angel?" I asked; my voice considerably lower as I nibbled on her earlobe. "You want me to fuck you?" I had the privilege of watching as Bella's eyes darkened at my words. Knowing her answer, I crashed my lips down on hers, swallowing her moan as I held onto her hips thrusting into her hard and deep. Hearing her scream out her pleasure I repeated the action harder each time, tightening my grip on her hips knowing that I was leaving marks on her delicious body and I found myself grinning at that thought before being brought back to the moment by Bella's loud moans.

I raised us up so that I was kneeling as Bella wrapped her legs around my waist and I pushed her up against the head board providing me with a better angle to thrust even deeper inside her warmth. I knew that I wouldn't last long and I was actually kind of grateful, I didn't want this to be long and drawn out, I wanted my release and to get Bella to reach hers too. My thrusts weren't controlled at all; my movements were almost animalistic even as I pushed us both further in and closer to that edge.

Bella's scream was one I definitely wanted to hear again as she cried out in passion with me following quickly behind her grunting out her name. Not wanting to remove myself from inside her just yet, I continued slowly thrusting into her as she kissed me hungrily again. Placing my hands under her thighs I lifted us both up and walked us into our conjoining bathroom to the shower, not once moving from where I was buried deep inside her. Feeling myself harden again inside Bella I didn't even turn on the water as I pushed her up against the wall of the shower and started us off again, fucking her in our own shower.

Finally feeling sated I withdrew myself from inside her turning the water on, both of us breathing heavily I noticed Bella was finding it hard to stand on her own. Wrapping my arms around her waist to support her, I stood us under the running water letting it cascade down our bodies. Taking my time with washing her long hair and precious body, I just wanted to worship her. We really needed to talk about us and I hoped she would allow me to take her on the date I had planned for us tomorrow night.

It seemed as though I wasn't the only one thinking hard when Bella asked me somewhat nervously as I was drying our bodies off. "I was just wondering if you were going to take me out…" She rushed out quietly I barely heard what she said. "You know, like a date." I heard the last part and thought I could tease her a little considering what we just did.

"Bella, I think we are well past the dating stages…" I teased her but then noticed how her small smile fell at my words so I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a chaste kiss, deciding to tell her of the plans I made. "However, I would love to take you out on a date. So I've already made plans for us to go out tomorrow night. Just you and me" I said smiling at her when she looked back up at me.

"You did? Really..?" She practically beamed at me and I swore to myself that I would do whatever I could to make her look that happy every single day. "Where are we going?" However I wasn't telling her that.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." I teased kissing her chastely again before she could try and convince me to tell her. There was no way I was telling her what I had planned for tomorrow night. It would cost quite a bit but she was worth it and hopefully the night would be perfect and exactly what she needs. I know she's still broken underneath but hopefully she would grow to trust me fully. When I said I would help her through it all the way, I meant it. Now I just had to prove it to her, starting with the perfect night.

…


End file.
